Monday, July 9, 2012

The Stakes Are High

So the other day I got to work, early as is usual for me, and I'm standing outside Central shooting the snit and smoking with the other early birds. That's always my time to catch up on what's been happening since I was last at work.

Captain CJ (who is on day shift now, the poor thing) comes out for a last smoke of her shift and she's talking to someone else down the table. I overhear: "When I went out on B-side and saw those fracking vampire stakes I about had a fit. If one of my staff gets hurt with one of those I swear to Gawd I'll have somebody's head!"

Didn't have a clue what she was talking about until I went over to B side and saw for myself.

Remember the other day when they caught three inmates with shanks? Prison made weapons?

The very next day maintenance went out and put stakes in all of the tomato plants in the gardens all over the camp.

At best count there are now around a hundred three foot long pointed wooden stakes driven into the ground in different places all over the camp.

So if the camp gets attacked by vampires, we're good.

But if we get attacked by inmates, we're screwed.

Just now I had to sit there for a minute and shake my head. The absurdity of it all just amazes me sometimes.

I work in a prison.

I don't know where the rest of those people think they are working, but it obviously isn't here.

Good grief.

So Tuesday is going to be Clerihew Day, Don't Step On A Bee Day (or in a bidet), Pina Colada Day, Teddy Bears Picnic Day and Pick Blueberries Day.

Bidet.... hee hee hee!


  1. Good grief is right! Geez Louise! Well, look on the bright have tomatoes! You might not live to enjoy them, but hey, tomatoes - how yummy is that!

    Bee or Bidet, Bee or Bidet - hmm, tough call! I'm going to skip Tuesday and move right on to Wednesday - gotta be better than Tuesday's lineup, right?!

    PS - I looked up "Clerihew" - yup, not to proud to use my built-in dictionary. I was a little concerned today would be a write-off in the learn-something-new-everyday department, but then "clerihew" came along. I can sleep soundly knowing the day was not wasted.

    1. Jenny-The real pain of it is, the veggies they are growing aint for us. Supposedly they are going to some of the food banks in the surrounding communities. I would get in trouble if I ate anything out of the garden. Where is the justice?

      And just between you and me, I had to look up clerihew, too. But don't tell anybody, k?

  2. CJ? Is that a Baywatch reference? Also, I have a hard time believing she said "fracking" unless your peculiar idioms are getting infectious ;D

    As for the I don't think there's anything more that needs to be said among sensible people about that one.

    1. Bryan- "CJ" is short for "Calamity Jane". She is one rough tough lady and she scares me a little bit. And no, she didn't say "fracking". I just don't use those kinds of words here.

      Not really all that sure why. I just don't. Maybe it's to remind myself that I'm not always in that prison mindset.

    2. Yeah, I know you clean it up a bit. I just wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't give you give you a hard time about it ;)

    3. Bryan- And I'd feel unloved if you didn't hassle me.

  3. Sheesh, and here's me thinking that .. ;D wus copyright. bugga.