Saturday, July 7, 2012

Impeccable Timing

Wouldn't ya know it. I checked the National Weather Service website this morning like I always do.

It said "UnGawdly Freaking Hot with a 20% chance of thunderstorms."

So right after I got out of the shower and got dressed and ready to walk out the door it came down one of those tarantula downpours. Driving wind and heavy rain. Water blowing up underneath the front door. Tree limbs flying around in the wind. The whole nine enchiladas.

I got soaked just walking the six feet from the door to get in the truck. Have to have the windshield wipers on high just to see the road.

Drive seven miles to work and when I get there the place is as dry and arid as the Gobi freaking desert. And a hundred degrees. Step out of the truck in my soaking wet coat and immediately burst into humidity. I felt like I would throw up, pass out and burst into flames.

It hadn't rained a drop there. Figures.

By the time I get to my house I am finally un-dampenated. No longer quite as outwardly moist, anyway. Felt like I'd been slightly basted, though.

Then an hour or so later, just as count clears.... The same storm (I suspect) came around for another pass and hit us hard. Just as soon as we are trying to send out the houses for mainline it romps in. Bang crash pow.

"Hold all movement!!!" It's the freaking apocalypse. And the power goes out.

Aw, snap. Working in a prison when the power goes out is kind of a scary thing. Especially when so many of our locks are electronically controlled. Bad things can happen. Doors that are supposed to be closed can suddenly end up open. And doors that you really want open will stay stubbornly closed until someone can get there with a key.

Right in the middle of the storm the gate across from our house popped open and the wind blew it all the way back against the fence hard. I saw it and put on my rain gear and trotted out to close it.

Soaked again.

And the wind bent something so that you have to lift the gate to get it to lock. With all of my strength I can barely get it high enough to get it locked again. Nice.

And just as soon as I get back inside and strip off my rain gear.....

It quits raining.

Hey! But at least someone had the foresight to turn on the sprinklers out in the garden right before the storm hit.

That was smart thinking. Sheesh.

So Saturday is going to be National Strawberry Sundae Day as well as Father-Daughter Take A Walk Day, Hop A Park Day and Tell The Truth Day.

I hold out my hopes for a strawberry sundae.


  1. Woof! That sounds like a nightmare! Not the power failure, the nine enchiladas. Good Lord, I'd have quite a stomach ache!

    1. Bryan- Good thing there was enough for everybody, huh?

  2. It's 60 something here right now. Just perfect for running around in just a t-shirt and undies to do the quick morning chores. Supposedly it's getting up to 85 today 90 tomorrow then back to the low 80's all week. Mind you this is after a record wet May and June.

    1. Critter- It's been in the triple digits for weeks now. The other day the readout in my truck said 116 when I got in it. Cooled all the way down to 106 by the time I got to work.

  3. So in real life, if the power goes out, an electronically-locked door will automatically open? I thought that was a movie convention. Now I will worry every time the power goes out that convicts are streaming through the unlocked gates of prisons across the unpowered area. Thanks, rev.

    1. Brent- Not always. Usually they won't open. But occasionally a good power flicker will trip one open. Then things get exciting.

  4. A long time ago a prison far far away.....wait that's not right......the power went out once while I was in the hive alone in delta wing. The wing door locked down but all the cell doors on the top walk started unlocking. I stood there watching the top walk as the doors crept open a few inches. A few being slowly assisted by creepy dirty top stained fingers. In my deepest growl I could bark out .....along with a few choice words.... I was amazed they actually closed their doors. That was a little scary.

    1. Ghost- A long time ago in a prison I'm working in now I was alone in C-wing when some knucklehead up in the bubble hit the "group unlock" button by accident.

      Do you remember who that knucklehead was?