Sunday, July 15, 2012

No Nobel Prize For Me...

I'm sure I'll get some flack about this post tomorrow.

I have two guys... officers... in my house that aren't getting along.

No names.... Let's just call them "T" and "C".

They only have to work together one day a week, but they just are not clicking together at all. And everybody can see it and it's driving us all crazy. More than one other officer and even a couple of inmates have come up to me and said "What's up with those two?"

C is fairly new to the house and T has been there for awhile. I thought it might be a good thing if T sort of mentored him on the way the house works, since they would be working together.

Well, that didn't work.

So tonight I pulled out all the stops and used humor where I thought I could get away with it and being blunt when I couldn't. I threatened this whole elaborate setup about getting them both in the elevator together then throwing the breaker for a few hours. Maybe lowering down a small disco ball and playing some Barry White until they gave in and made friends.

If I knew where the breaker was I would have given it some serious thought.

Towards the end of the night I considered seriously slapping them both across the chops and saying "Pull up your big girl panties and figure this out. You have to work together, so quit being a pair of Richards and talk to each other!"

P.S. If you don't get the reference, just ask yourself what is a suitable nickname for someone named Richard?

So, obviously I'm not going to be in the running for the Nobel Peace Prize anytime soon.

If I was still just a CO and could speak my mind more and get away with it, I'd just slap them both and say "Cut it out! You're pissing me off!"

I've done my bit to promote harmony in the house.

Now I'm just visualizing whirled peas.

Mmmm.... peas.....

Sunday is going to be National Tapioca Pudding Day and Respect Canada Day.

And with so perfect a day, who could ask for anything more?

Well, except for more pudding, maybe.


  1. TGIS (S being Sunday) and you remembered to post! As if you'd ever not, after all the luvin' you got for thinking no one reads you on a Sunday.

    So...maybe the problem is "T" and "C" need "big boy" panties, it's obvious their girly panties (probably with lacy bits) aren't doing the job!

    I'm liking the "Respect Canada Day" nod - good to see we're climbing the charts and getting on the calendar at least once this year - but I think I'll speak, respectfully, on behalf of my country by saying we'll pass on the Tapioca pudding and go straight for Jello, with a dollop of whip cream on top - okay!

    1. Jenny- Yeah, I won't make that mistake again. Sheesh!

      And yes, I was being a bit male-centric. I thought after I posted that I should have worded that differently.

      And you guys don't get the respect you deserve. Even if your money melts in the sun. (grin)

  2. mm, bit chilli over on this side of the planet .. possible t grow snow peas,; howevererer ... 'whirled peas'?

    um, thinks.

    1. Davoh- It's a poor joke, I know. The best I could do on short notice, tho.

  3. You could always just throw one of them out a window, whomever is being the bigger Richard that way the other gets the point and you don't even have to say anything to them.

    1. Scott- You may be on to something there. If the elevator thing doesn't work out, I'll give that a whirl.

  4. By all means. Give the window thing a try.