Saturday, July 28, 2012

Just To Be Annoying

Several things just jumped right out today to be intentionally annoying.

Well, two anyway. But sometimes they were in collusion with each other to be even more annoying than the sum of their parts.

We have a portable metal detector that is slowly making it's way around the camp. It's the one they set up months ago in the chow hall that drove everybody crazy. Then It went down to 30 house and drove everybody crazy again down there.

Now it's in my house. Right in the freaking narrow front hallway that was a bottleneck for offender movement before and now is even more of a pain in the butt.

Not only does it impede the doorway it also takes two officers to monitor the stupid thing. And even running them through randomly slows things up and it takes forever to release the house for chow or yard or anything.

Plus it makes this really annoying beeping sound when it goes off. As a certain intentionally annoying but nameless

officer discovered. He discovered that not only did it make a really annoying noise, but he also discovered that that noise really really annoyed me.

Needless to say he ran through the thing and set it off as often as humanly possible. He even went so far as to stand still in the thing (wearing his full duty belt and radio, of course) for long minutes while it went "Deelde deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle" until I threatened to circumcise him with the snappy thing on my clipboard if he didn't stop.

I should have done it then and had it over with.

That threat didn't deter him later in the evening from casually sticking an arm or a leg or his fundament in the thing and making it beep at random intervals.

I finally had to resort to the rubber bands to make him stop. He was still limping a little when we left this evening. I hated to do it, but he left me no choice.

And just to prove that I'm a fair and unbiased reporter of events, I have left him entirely nameless.
Like Jack Webb said: "Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

See what I have to put up with?

Is it no wonder I am horribly aged and twisted beyond my years? Sheesh!

Saturday is going to be National Milk Chocolate Day, Buffalo Soldiers Day, National Dance Day, National Day of the Cowboy and World Hepatitis Day.

Put on your red shoes and dance the blues.......... Let's dance!


  1. Bugga, scrabbling to find my red high heels. Will Blundstone rubber boots do? Can dance.

    1. Davoh- Now I have this horrible picture in my head of you capering about in red high heels...

      How do I make it stop?

  2. I know what you mean. Sometimes those people can be really annoying.

    1. Tilt- And apparently they don't learn, either. Next time I'm bringing rubber bands and paper clips!

      And duct tape!