Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Almost Too Much Help

Last week when I was out on the yard we were almost hamstrung by a lack of staff. Two days this week we were running the house I was in short people because we didn't have the staff to cover everything.

We ran our butts off trying to cover everything and try to make sure that everybody was safe.\

Tonight I had so many children I didn't know what to do. I was tempted to beat them all soundly and send them to bed. But that would have gotten me frowned at, I'm sure.

Two officers are "assigned" to the yard. I started the afternoon out with four, figuring I would lose at least one or two of them as the night progressed. Instead, after library closed down, I got a fifth one.

What the......

Of course since we were overflowing with people, they found something for us to do. After the yards closed down they had us search the mattress factory. And they sent me four or five more officers from B side to assist.

Of course the place is an absolute nightmare to search. The building is well over a hundred years old and has nooks and crannies and little cubbyholes and storage closets all over the place. They don't just make the mattresses either. They also make inmate clothing like pants and shirts and coats and socks and aprons for food service and things like that. Even mop heads.

And the whole place is chock full of piles of mattress pads and rolls and bales of fabric and material and balls of string and bobbins of thread and stuff that I have absolutely no idea what it might be. There are entire rooms in that building that are not accessible because they are so full of stuff.

There's a locked tool room with all of the tools including all of the scissors and knives and seam rippers and awls and stuff. All of it is supposedly accounted for every day. But I know that there are also empty spots where somethings should be but aren't. How do I know where those things are?

It would take a hundred people and a forklift and several days to actually "search" that building. To examine everything and remove any potential weapons or other contraband that might be secreted there.

I had ten people and about an hour. We did the best we could. Found a few things that were iffy, but nothing of consequence. Pretty much just enough to let them know that we had been in there searching and maybe piss a few inmates and square staff off. That's about it.

But hey, we'll all get good entries in our files for participating in the search.


So here's the weekend lineup:
Wednesday is going to be National Cheer Up The Lonely Day, Bowlder's Day, Slurpee Day and National Blueberry Muffin Day.

Thursday will be National Pecan Pie Day, Simplicity Day, Chick-Fil-A Cow Appreciation Day and Embrace Your Geekness Day.

Friday will be Fool's Paradise Day, Collector Car Appreciation Day, Gruntled Workers Day and National French Fries Day.

Please celebrate responsibly.


  1. .. and the next day will be ... eek! Call in the "National Guard".

    Wot? That didn't settle the masses.

    mmmm, thinks.

    1. Davoh- That would settle them right down, methinks. These wussies would run and hide in their little holes if someone with an actual weapon stepped inside the fence.

      So would I, for that matter.

  2. "Two days this week we were running the house I was in short people because we didn't have the staff to cover everything."

    I had to go back over this a couple of times before I got what you were saying. It didn't help that I had that Randy Newman song in my head the whole time ;D

    1. Bryan- Sorry. Sometimes I type faster than I think. And sometimes i think faster than I can type.

      And some days I can't do either.