Sunday, December 27, 2009


We had a food service worker down in the Hive that I didn't like very much. Aside from the fact that he was lazy and sloppy, he was also one of those whose flame burns way too bright.

Not that I have anything against anybody's legal sexual preferences, mind you. But I do dislike having them right in my face. And this idiot was in everybody's face.

Anyway, KP spotted him palming something the other night and told him to come back. And he kept going up the walk. KP told him to stop again and he kept going and tried to kick something under a cell door.

I wasn't there and I don't know the whole situation, but if it had been me I would probably have hosed him at that point. My interpretation.

What he was trying to kick under the door was a "bullet" of tobacco and rolling papers. They caught him dead to rights and cuffed him up. Big Mess and BG got the onerous task of stripping him out and searching him.

Yuck. Largely overweight and fairly nasty. Several rolls of fat. Big Mess said it was like trying to search Jabba the Hutt. Ew.

And they found more and more stuff on him the more they searched and had him lift body parts. BG said "It was like Fibber McGee's closet! More stuff just kept falling out!"


I'm glad I missed that one.

Had a couple of close calls tonight. That little knucklehead we slammed last week decided to go on suicide watch. I guess it's all part of his master plan to get out of C-wing. he threw water all over his cell and kept his tray and told Chuck he was feeling suicidal. I figured he was going to get squirrely just as soon as we pulled him out of the cell. He didn't, tho.

Chuck and Sausage striped him out and left him naked in the cell. He started screaming "Hey! You have to give me a smock and blanket!"

I said "We don't have any." Which was true, at the moment. We had five offenders on suicide watch and all of the other smocks and blankets were dirty. We do laundry Monday mornings and get the stuff back monday afternoons. We had no clean smock to give him.

Fortunately (I guess) I had seen this coming and sent two smocks up to medical for an emergency washing. We can do that now and then.

I told him "In an hour or two when we get some clean ones, you'll get a smock."

He wasn't real happy about that.

And some other knucklehead try and hold a chuck hole hostage and then try to run out of the cell on me. That almost went bad but we managed to keep it contained. Just barely.

I was glad to see the end of this night.

I was glad about several things tonight.


  1. I'm sorry I laughed. ::muffled giggling:: I'll handle my own fat, but someone elses? Ehhhhhh....nothankyou.

  2. I've gotta quit coming to read your blog so early in the morning. Yuck.

  3. That's where I left my cigarettes...

  4. Amy- Me neither. Yuck!

    Donna- Sorry. That's why I post at night. Couldn't take this stuff on an empty stomach.

    Pennyschulz- Do you really want them back now? Accccck....