Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Taining: Day Two

I am now a certified Defensive Tactics master. Feet of fury and fists of death. Picture if you will an old ninja dressed in polyester. That's me.

Actually, I'm lucky I got through it without hurting myself or someone else. I had Unk as my partner again and we managed to give each other a break. He was respectful of my sore knees and I was respectful of his brittle bones.

I always walk out of DT class feeling like I know what to do when a crisis happens. Then I get in a use of force and end up slamming somebody and afterwords I think "I didn't use any of that stuff!"

And it's true. I can only think of a few cases where I actually used anything I learned in that class. I usually use whatever it takes to stay within the letter of policy and end the situation just as fast as I possibly can. I suspect that it helped me refine what technique I do have into something faster. My favorite combination is leverage and concrete with a dash of pepper spray.

Hey, whatever works, right?

On an unrelated note, that slick basticule of a training officer we have talked me into doing something decent and against my better wishes. We have a Field Training Officer program here. When new people come in for ojt, they get assigned for a day to an FTO to work in one assignment or another. The FTO sees to it that they get properly trained on how to work in that area.

Pretty much they just say "See that guy over there? Go follow him around today and do whatever he tells you to do and try not to break anything."

I've been avoiding that job for at least two years.

But Slick, our training officer, comes up to me and says "The Lt says I should talk to you."

I'm thinking "Oh snap! He's pissed off about that thing during CPR class!" I'm running around in my head trying to come up with some justification for acting the fool.

He says "The Lt says that down in the Hive you are the guy to go to. You've been down there the longest (I haven't) and you know how to do everything (aw, shucks) and you would make a great FTO."

Say what?

The surly basticule with the foul mouth and the bad attitude about authority and the extremely low tolerance for stupidity? And you want me to train the future generations? Are you out of your mind?

Well, okay.

I agreed to it. I'm still not sure why. I guess I'm just glad he only sold me that and didn't move on to used cars or oceanfront property or timeshares.

He's a slick talker. A good dude, but you have to watch him.

So one of these days they'll set me up with some more training and I'll get to learn how to train other people in how to do my job.

I just hope that at the end of the day they don't want to run screaming home to mommy. Some days in the Hive are like that.

So tomorrow: more classroom and the shotguns! If I don't post tomorrow you'll know what happened.


  1. I think you'll make a great FTO!! I wouldn't want my officers trained by anybody else down there.

    BTW...I'm sorry I missed the CPR thing. You guys pulled that stunt while I was in the bathroom. Thanks. Now I have "plausible deniability ."

  2. I think you will be a GREAT fto. Now you will know how I felt when I was the only one down there. Just remember the fun you can have. Remember having them search B-3 when "baby doll" and "beyonce" resided there.lol