Wednesday, December 30, 2009

It's All Fun And Games

Until someone gets an eye poked out, anyway.

Nobody lost an eye but KP was assaulted in his nether regions with half a bar of soap. He wasn't seriously hurt, but we had to fill out the paperwork anyway. And it bought the offender an assault on staff charge. That is not going to look good on a resume'.

The idiot had a cadillac string that was obviously made from a torn sheet. So not only does he have contraband, he destroyed state property to make it. KP just went to the kids door and said "Give it up." He gave him the strip of sheet and then threw the bar of soap he was using for the cadillac out the chuck hole and hit KP right in Mr. Happy Land.

I was up in the bubble at the time giving the bubble guy (some new kid) a smoke break when I saw the soap fly out and hit him. I thought to myself "Oh snap, this isn't going to be good." But KP kept his cool and stayed professional the whole time. He wrote the idiot a conduct violation for contraband, destruction of property and minor assault. So I imagine this little cheese weasel will be shuffling off to a C-5 camp real soon. He's not a real ray of sunshine anyway.

Lots of laughs this evening.

That little idiot that we slammed last week? When he flooded his cell and went on suicide watch this weekend, all of the stuff in his cell got wet. And by the time he got off of suicide watch and could get his property back, pretty much none of it was left, apparently. He threw a temper tantrum about that off and on all evening. Until we started ignoring him, anyway. He finally got tired and went to sleep. Part of the problem is that he claims he had 45 stamps in his property. But his property sheet in his file says zero stamps when he came down and he didn't buy any from the canteen since he's been here. So if he did have 45 stamps in his property, they weren't his and they would be contraband. And he can't prove they were his so they won't be replaced.

Damn, it sucks to be him.

I wonder if he'll try holding his breath next? Kicking on the door and screaming profanity isn't working.

Kids nowadays!

And somebody ask the nurse how many boxes of Rice Krispies will fit in her coat pockets. I'm sure you'll get an amusing answer.

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