Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Listening In

Sometimes just sitting around listening is the best fun I can have at work. These guys will come off with the oddest stuff when they think you're not listening. Hell, I even overheard someone confess to a murder once. I made notes and turned them over to the investigator who supposedly turned it over to the police.

I keep a notebook in my pocket and will usually burn through a whole one in a month writing notes to myself. Here's a small sampling of the odd junk in my notebook from just the last couple of weeks:

"I just flicked ashes in your stuff..."

OK, I know that's not all that odd, but I wondered what "stuff" he had out that got ashes in it?

"I'm not a big fan of dick, thank you..."

That's funny, I had heard he was...

"He tattooed 'Game Over' on his eyelids and two days later he shot himself in the head."

Hmmm.... This is your brain on drugs..... any questions?

"I wasn't about to tell them the damn truth! I'm a criminal!!!"

And a rather pathetic one, at that.

"Just because I play games with the babies out on the yard doesn't mean I'm gay."

Yes, it does.

And this one was the best one of all. They guy who said this was in a cell all by himself. Suddenly he launched out with a whole string of profanity that lasted for several minutes and then he screamed:

"You know me..... You know I'm God....... So why in hell did I have to be circumsized?"

Oh, snap! I hope he doesn't try to fix that little problem himself. That could sting a bit.


  1. that last one has me rollin'!!!

    perhaps he'll instead tattoo something...

  2. When I heard that, I just stood there with my mouth open for a minute and said "I gotta write that down!"