Sunday, March 15, 2009

It Gets On You, Sometimes

Get Fuzzy

Since this blog is somewhat about pepper spray and the uses thereof, I was pretty happy to see this "Get Fuzzy" toon by Darby Conley. The "Darb" gets things that alot of us don't. He's like the Spider Robinson of comic strip artists.

I remember being somewhat curious about the effects of pepper spray when I first joined the department. I guess it's a good thing I didn't decide to become a cop. I can't imagine being curious about the effects of a 9mm bullet.

My first time was many years ago, not long after I had been assigned to the Adseg unit. I looked in from the rec yard and saw that a problem was developing in C-wing about four steps away from where I was standing. I got about three steps in when one of the officers sprayed the offender right in the face. And I, of course, being only two feet away, got the full brunt of the overspray directly into my face.

Man, I'm glad I wear glasses. They have saved my sight in alot of situations where other people were blinded and unable to act.

We managed to get the offender back into his cell and the door shut and everyone ran off to wash. Since I didn't get it directly into my eyes, I just rinsed off my glasses and face and went on with my night.

That was somewhat of a mistake, you see.

When you get excited (especially if you are already warm) your pores open up and the little granules of oleoresin capiscum burrow down inside your skin and set to burning. And washing with cold water at that point just closes the pores back up again, sealing the stuff inside. No one had ever told me to use lukewarm water to wash my skin after being sprayed.

So I sat the rest of the night up in Central doing paperwork and smouldering like a cigarette butt and listening to the lieutenants bitch about the smell. I was ready to spray them myself by the time it was all over.

Then I went home and threw my uniform in the washing machine and threw myself in the shower.

Another life lesson on it's way at a high rate of speed. Can you see it coming? I sure didn't.

There was pepper spray all over my hair and when I got into the shower it washed out of my hair and proceeded to run the length of my body, down across and into all of those freshly opened pores.





Get it? I sure did.

And I had to stuff a washcloth in my mouth because my wife was asleep in the next room.

The wife and kids have learned that if they wake up in the morning and there's "that smell" in the air and Dad has a freshly laundered uniform hanging by the washing machine, that Dad had a bad night and it's best to let him sleep as long as possible.

I learned to rinse that crap out of my hair before I even leave work.

And that pepper spray is a dandy deterrent. All of the offenders who say they've been sprayed and it's not so bad are liars. If you pull the can out and they flinch........ they've been sprayed and don't really want to again. They'll usually comply at that point. If they don't back down, then it's time for a lesson.

It beats a ruler across the knuckles.

Hands down, as it were.


  1. puts me in mind of the time I used a tea tree and peppermint shower gel, it...well you get the picture :O
    that pepper sure sounds like good stuff, wonder how it tastes LOL

  2. Nat- It tastes, for a brief second, like biting into a hot red pepper. Then all of your taste buds dissolve and you have to grown new ones all over again. (grin)

  3. Reminds me of the time I used a Menthol conditioner to shave. (Gets a closer shave than cream)
    And that time (or two) when I used OC.
    Ooh, ooh, and the one time someone used it near me.

  4. And I remember your reaction, too, Mr Vinnie. Do you think it would make a good underarm deodorant?

  5. O.U.C.H not good !

  6. My DH once picked up my peppermint foot lotion guaranteed to soften the hardest callouses thinking it was regular lotion and gave the chafing privates a good dose. I think he bounced off several walls getting in the bathroom with the hand held shower thingy. I know for a fact he didn't wait for the water to warm up. I don't think he wanted anymore warmth at that point.

    after I made sure he was alright I ran outside and down behind the barn to laugh myself silly.

    He also doesn't do situps naked after the electric toothbrush incident. Oh that was funny too, even if I was locked outside for two hours.

  7. Anon- I'm just sure I don't want to go there......

  8. I worked in fiberglass plants, years ago and tried to teach young people, that HOT water helps to open the pors so that you can scrub out the fibers....tried being the key word.
    da loop

  9. Is it true that milk helps with the pepper spray in the eyes? Or is that just something on Reno 911?

  10. Loopy- actually, with this pepper spray, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't on the water temp. Either hot or cold will make it feel worse temporarily but either will wash the excess off. It's just going to burn for a couple of hours no matter what you do. I've been sprayed around six or seven times now. It just sucks no matter what you do.

    JustCara- I hadn't heard that about the milk. It might work. Or it might make it worse. I know they sell a line of so-called "neutralizers" that don't work at all.