You'd think I would know better than to volunteer. After seven years in the Army it got drilled into my head, yet I do it anyway.
Smiley found some dingus down in three house. Some little thing like an allen wrench that removes security screws. Little bitty ones.
They made a big deal about it and the inmate who had it ended up getting locked up for it. Charged with attempted escape, since theoretically he could use it to take some of the locks apart. Not any of the big ones leading out of the institution...... but hey.
And they wanted digital pictures of the dingus. Of course.
And none of the four people on our shift who know how to work the camera and write the reports were here tonight. Of course.
I was up in central doing the yard paperwork (I was on A-yard tonight, amazingly) and Sgt Buck asked me "Do you know how to run the camera and stuff?"
Sure. It's just a freaking digital camera. How difficult can it be?
It wasn't really that hard. It was just getting the computer to work that was difficult. The frapping thing was so slow I could have hand printed ten Gutenberg bibles just waiting for the word processing program to open.
And the captain wanted printed copies of my pictures and all we have to work with is that stupid paint program that comes with all computers.
I dare you to work with multiple pictures and make them come out right using paint. Pfui!
In the time it took me to beat that stupid thing into submission I could have driven home, out them in my Corel program and made him a nice photo display with all of the information actually printed on the page, bound it in a nice folder and driven back to work.
But on the plus side, they kept Buck so busy between three and four house that I had the yard mostly to myself most of the night. That was kind of cool. And I got to track mud all over central security while I was doing my paperwork. I'll bet the porters are going to be cussing me in the morning.
Hee hee hee!
So while I did Look On The Bright Side and I did get to play with my flashlight, I never got any grilled shrimp nor a hamburger today. Win some, lose some.
Hmmm.... And tomorrow is National Date-Nut Bread Day.
I don't think I'll be getting any of that, either.
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