Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Playing Games With The Handcuffs

No, I'm not talking about that. Silly.

Sometimes when an offender doesn't get his way he will look for anything he can do to get attention. If they are in the cell and the door is closed and they are in restraints they have two options at this point.

One: Climb up on the sink with their hands behind their back and threaten to jump. Not really a good option. I pepper sprayed the last guy that tried that. He climbed back down quickly and carefully. Showed me how much he really wanted to hurt himself.

Or Two: Just refuse to give up the cuffs.

My response to that? "Fine! Enjoy!" Slam! Close the chuckhole and walk away. At that point they usually go "Hey? Don't you want your cuffs back?"

Dude, I got thirty pairs of cuffs up in the bubble. I don't need that pair. You can keep them for a couple of hours. Oh, by the way.... you won't be getting any dinner until you give them up. See you in a couple of hours, mate.

For some reason the bigwigs don't like this tactic. They are concerned when an inmate keep a pair of restraints. They want them back. And, of course, they tell us to go in and get them.

Uhhhh.... No. I just tried that and he said he was keeping them and I said I'd be back in two hours. That is when we are legally obligated to check on him and see if he wants them removed.

What usually happens is the closest Lieutenant will come trotting down and sweet talk the inmate and sympathize with his plight and agree we are all evil bastards until the inmate gives him our cuffs back.

What the snap ever.

Who cares if this idiot wants to be uncomfortable? Even if he steps through and brings them around to the front they are not pleasant to wear. They are just hard steel. If they were that concerned they would have the industries people knitting little covers for the cuffs.

I don't get these people sometimes. One Tard keeps a pair of $20.00 handcuffs and they get all fidgety. You want them back that bad? Put together a team with the stun shield! Block the window so he can't see out and send them in with orders to get those cuffs no matter what.

Yeah, right.


  1. I've watched shows where they film the inmates lives'...and when they get hosed or whatever for misbehaving, they're always 'I just wanted to talk to someone!' Um, whatever, dude.

    I say you filter a little prozac in the drinking water....