Sunday, August 30, 2009

Bring Out The Big Guns

I'll tell you about my first day back in a moment.

But something happened while I was away. I never hear about this stuff. People always want to wait until I get back. Pfui.

Apparently, some knucklehead climbed up on top of the pavilion on B-side last week and refused to come down because two of the C.O.'s in his house were "mistreating" him.

I know this idiot and he needs to be mistreated. He's another young punk who thinks he's a badas*. He needs to be in pelican Bay or Folsom where the big kids will teach him what a badas* he isn't.

If you get my drift.

At any rate, the Warden authorized them to bring in a shotgun with "non-lethal ammunition" (probably rubber bullets) into the institution and bring him down no matter what.

Go Warden! Yeah!

Unfortunately, he decided to get down on his own before this could happen. Too bad. Enough of those idiots would have seen it happen through their cell windows that the message would sink in a little. They would know we aren't fooling around.

But it didn't happen so the silliness will continue. It seems to be escalating and somebody is going to get hurt bad.

Hopefully it isn't one of us.

So anyway, my first day back was hectic. Locking them up and kicking them out left and right. We are completely full down in the Hive so every time they lock one up we have to kick one out early. And I actually had someone refuse to leave. That was startling. Whatever.

And that buttcake Chuck call out again. I'm happy that he has found love or lust or lunch or whatever it is he has found but the rat bastard needs to start coming to work regularly. He left us in a bind. And I don't know what it was that Vinnie and Ms. Freud did on their first date, but it left him so sore he had to go home early. Whatever that was, don't do it again. If you are doing it right, it's only supposed to hurt for a little while, not leave you doubled up in pain the next day. Read the manuals, fer gawds sakes!

My first day back was busy and hectic and loud and stupid. And it made me really question why I do this kind of work. Why do I subject myself to this abuse day after day? I'm sure I don't know. Just a glutton for punishment, I guess.


  1. You could always take up work as a furniture builder. :) just sayin'....

  2. Gluten for punishment- I say! Stopped to speak with you earlier to day but you guys were such a deep conversation about holding your breath and the cells in your skin close(?)and then a bee would sting you and it would not hurt? OK I give, so share the brownies?

    I just will have to remember what I learned today next a bee lands on me to bite, I have to hold my breath, but for how long?

    I thought I have walked into a shooting of the Twilight Zone...

  3. Amy- If you know anyone who likes really heavy furniture, send them my way.

    Doc- We were discussing one of those old wives tales. Supposedly if you hold your breath your pores close up and you can't be stung. I thought it was a bunch of hooey myself.

  4. I'm pretty good at whatever it was, but I haven't done it in a while...

    Actually, I think it was something (food) I ate, so I guess that's me getting older.

    It wasn't that long ago I could eat the a$$ out of a rotting rhino and be fine. Remember the red stuff?