Thursday, February 19, 2009

Polite Little Bast*rds

I've got a new phrase that I have been using the last couple of weeks. It's kind of been working for me. Alot of these punks think that since there's nothing better to do, they can stand behind the door and call me whatever kind of nasty things they want to without any repercussions.

For the most part, they're right. There's not alot I can do about it especially since they will cowardly stand far enough away from the window that I can't tell which cell it came from. But there are a few of them that I know their voices well enough and I will call them on it. I could write them up for it, but I would spend the whole day writing violations and doing nothing else. Threats, I'll write. But just mouthing b.s. I just blow off.

It will usually start right as soon as I walk into the wing. Someone will yell "Get your fat a** out of here you motherfu**er!"

Now my a** isn't fat at all, although I am occasionally a motherfu**er.

But when they want something it will be "Please, CO sir. I'm out of toilet paper (or whatever) can you help me out please sir?"

I'll stand at the cell window and give them the stare for a few seconds until they start to feel just the least bit uncomfortable and right as they are about to open their mouth to start their little plea spiel again I'll say "Your'e real polite when you want something aren't you?"

And then I walk away.

Amazingly enough, this is starting to work. Albeit slowly, but it's starting to work. I hear less and less b.s. aimed at me when I walk into the wings.

Of course, there are those hardcore knuckleheads that never will learn. But they don't get anything from me except what the state says I have to give them. That and alot of hard time. I can't abide big mouthed cowards and most of these guys are nothing but that. They think that because I am not supposed to open the door and beat their asses for opening their pie holes that they are safe. That big steel door protects them from me as much as it protects me from them.

I'm not a bada**. Some of you know me personally. I'm not big and pumped up with a black belt in haiku, ready to go all Delta Force on someone. I'm generally very mild mannered and when it comes to martial arts, I'm all thumbs. When I get into a use of force, I usually end up hurting myself about as much as I do anyone else. I'm a clummox.

So I mostly use my wits and my words.

That's usually enough. They get the job done.

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