Ok, so I'm not as good looking as G.I. Joe. No biggie. Hell, I'm not even as flexible as him.
But I do look good in a turtleneck shirt.
At work we wear black (flammable) polyester pants and ridiculously uncomfortable (but not as flammable) cotton/poly/ wool blend sky blue shirts. All made, of course, by the very inmates who hate us and want us to look ridiculous and be, preferably, dead.
When I first started almost six years ago, we were allowed to wear black turtleneck shirts under our uniform. Since wearing a scarf inside the prison is a bad idea for several reasons, a turtleneck was a good option for keeping your neck warm. And if you spent alot of time outside, as I do, then keeping your neck warm becomes a problem.
Well, year before last some bright boy took offense to us wearing the aforementioned turtlenecks and decided to actually look at the policy. Unfortunately for those of us who are prone to cold necks (ie: the ones who don't sit behind a desk all day), the policy states emphatically that nothing but white underclothing (crew necks only) are allowed to be worn under the duty uniform. So thenceforth turtlenecks were banned from the institution.
I made discreet inquiries up the chain of command at the time and the buck was passed higher and higher until it was way past my pay grade. I wrote a polite letter to the Director and never received a reply. I thought about writing to the Governor but figured I didn't want that kind of attention. The old adage about the squeaky wheel getting the grease is sometimes true, but here the squeaky wheel is more likely to get it without grease.
If you know what I mean.
So I guess I'm stuck with all those black turtlenecks in my closet and a chilly adams apple. And if one of you happens to be lunching with the Director one of these fine afternoons, would you ask him if we can do something about this?
Just don't mention my name, K?
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