Tuesday, March 1, 2011


We have a program here set up so that officers who have been here awhile are supposedly given skills to help them train the newer officers. Those who have been so trained are called "Field Training Officers" or FTO's for short.

There is supposed to be lots of FTO's in every position so the new people can get proper training wherever they go. It's a nice idea.

But since the budget went to heck in a handbasket and they cut all of those extra positions, there are times when you can't find an FTO anywhere on camp, let alone in the position the new person needs training on.

It's still better than the old system where everybody made out like whatever they did was some big lodge secret you had to earn.

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll know how to do this."

Well, thanks alot Pops. But I don't plan on being the worlds oldest CO like you. I just want to get through this without getting killed and go home at the end of the day, if you don't mind.

Sorry. Sore spot. Anyway...

I came in today and they still had me slated to be an extra on B-yard. I didn't figure that would last long. Extra officers always ended up getting moved somewhere.

Lt Baby Boy told me I was still on the yard but I had to do the mail run first and I had to take one of the new guys with me and show him how it was done.

Okay, I could do that.

I told the new guy that the first thing you do is steal a cart somewhere. If you can't find one that isn't nailed down, you stamp your little feet until they find you one to use.

Once you find a cart then you come out to the Admin building and you hide and slack off for about thirty minutes because the mail won't be sorted and ready til at least 3:30.

He liked that part. I didn't mind it so much myself. By the time I got out to the yard most of the start of shift work would be done and I wouldn't have to mess with it. Sweet!

I went through the whole process step by step from where to find the mail and what order to stack it in the cart to delivering it and where to hide the cart when you're done.

So we drove all over the camp and chatted briefly with almost everybody we saw at each house, just tooling around on the cart and delivering the mail.

Every now and then he'd look at me like "You mean we really get paid to do this?"

An easy easy way to start off the shift, lemme tell you.

And my luck stayed with me all evening long. Not only did I get to stay on the yard all night, I didn't even have to do the Del Norte or count anywhere! Easy peezy.

I actually think the new guy learned a few things as well. Just an added bonus. And me without any formal training, either.

Oh Bummer! I was looking at the list and, if this were a leap year, tomorrow would be National Surf And Turf Day. Pfui. I was looking forward to that one.

But instead (this being a normal boring year) tomorrow is both National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day.

Hmmm... why not combine the two? "Hey, you got your bacon in my peanut butter!"

Okay. Never mind. That sounds dirty.


  1. Ah, so you're the guy at the workplace that "tells them how it really is". Every job needs one of those.

    As far as tomorrow, I think I'll go with the peanut butter. Although, I do like bacon and ribs. Decisions, decisions.

  2. I don't know how many people I've had to help train down in the Hive. That's a scary thought considering you, KP, and LB taught me everything I know down there. Between the three of you I must have found some kind of truth.

  3. Not only does that sound dirty, it sounds like someone needs to make a trip to the gyno office.

  4. Bryan- Sometimes I do that. Sometimes i fill them full of bullsnit and send them down the road. The ones who listen get the real info.

    Drew- If you found any truth down there it must have fell out of KP's pocket. I'm barely coherent most of the time.

    Doug- Yeah. Yuck. Phew!