Saturday, March 12, 2011

Even More Maintenance Issues

Well, I have to give them props. Our maintenance guys came back and fixed the shack window today and finished the trim.

Sgt Woof on days was bragging that it looked like a fishing lodge or something for deer camp, it was so nice. And I'll admit it looks snappy. All that dark stained trim really puts a shine on the place.

And we can open the window slowly and part of the way. Hey, it's better than it was. We'll take it. Don't want to wait another six months.

But then, amazingly enough, I found something else to complain about.

I had to run down to the Hive with some property and BG urged me to go into B-wing and check out their new strip cage.

Now, according to Adseg policy, each offender coming into the Hive is to be strip searched before he is secured in the cell to make sure he isn't carrying any contraband. Sure, it gets carried in every day. And we know exactly how it's getting carried in.

But I'm not looking in there. I'm not paid enough for that. No way, no how.

Usually, if the offender is being cooperative, he is taken to the cell and stripped out. Or if he's being a little bit of a problem, we take him to the barber shop next door to the Sgt's office and do it there. That way there can be more of us handy.

Their solution to this was to build a metal cage in each wing and lock them in the cage, have them strip out and hand out their clothes while it is being searched. That way if he gets nuts or stuck on stupid we can just spray him and he'll be locked in a cage and unable to harm any staff.

A semi-reasonable idea at first glance.

Our fearless maintenance crew brought down a prototype cage and installed it the other day. Right away I saw several flaws. The wire they used for the door and cage walls is thin and flexible. Somebody wearing state boots could kick a hole in it in a couple of minutes of determined effort. Maybe quicker if they were pretty strong. The door frame didn't have very much metal in it and I could bend it with my foot far enough to crawl out underneath. And the thin metal for the walls was pretty sharp on the edges. If someone broke off a piece it would make a pretty awesome slashing weapon.

And the lock on the door was one of the sliding bar types they use for the showers. It makes a dandy pivot for bending the door against and they break pretty often.

After I went and looked and snorted in disgust, they told me that the Major and the Warden had been down to inspect and neither one of them liked the design and told them to get that thing out of there and try again.

The stupid thing might have contained my sisters chickens. But not for long.


Oh yeah. Jewel Day and Alfred Hitchcock Day. I said that yesterday. Duh.

It's been a long week. I need some serious sleep.

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