Tuesday, March 22, 2011

We Survived

When I left Friday night they had me scheduled to be in the Moon Room when I came in today. That usually means the I get to go to B-yard when I'm done.

I'm kind of glad I didn't end up over there, cos they sounded really busy.

I came in and asked where I was and Lt Baby Boy said "A-yard."

Cool! I get to work with the Watcher!

"Whose spot am I in?"

"The Watcher's. But it doesn't matter, because neither him nor the Fireman are here today."

"Well, who have I got?" I had this panicky feeling in my spine.

"Miz Fawkes."

"Okay, we can make that work just fine. Umm... Sgt Uncle Buck is here, right?"

"No. You got Sgt Duck."

Okey dokey. All three of us utilities. But we've all worked the yard before. We can do this. If we can just keep everything between the mayonnaise and the mustard, we'll be all right.

And things went fine until an inmate over on B-yard had what they thought was a possible stroke out on the basketball court. Then things went to hell from there.

Called in an ambulance so they decided that since it had to come in on A-side (since that is where the sally port is), that we would close A-yard until it was gone. But they dithered around until it got to the gate, then called the yards closed.

And since it was a nice cool evening and very pleasant outside, all of the inmates took their sweet time going back to their houses no matter how loud we yelled.

Finally got the yard clear and got the ambulance in and the inmate loaded up and they sat there forever doing tests and getting vitals and such.

And of course they had to pull two people to go on the outcount. One to ride in the ambulance and one to follow along in a car. So they pulled Sausage off of B-yard and somebody from somewhere else. We were already short people anyway. So then we had to switch people all over to cover the two they sent out on outcount and it made us even shorter.

We managed to ride out the rest of the evening sharing the work between Miz Fawkes and myself. Did alot of walking and alot of running back and forth.

At one point I stopped in central to go to the bathroom. It had been awhile since I had gone and I really needed the break.

Just as I had gotten a good flow going, Sgt Duck called me on the radio. Didn't want to be audibly peeing when I had my mike keyed so I stopped. Not the easiest thing to do sometimes.

"69 to 68"

piddle piddle piddle... stop! "68"

"68, are you in central?"

piddle piddle piddle... stop! "10-4"

"Stand by up there. I'm send a lost inmate who needs to be on B-side."

piddle piddle piddle... stop! "10-4"

I very nearly lost track of what I was doing. Really really didn't want to be audibly peeing or flushing the toilet with my radio live. But I managed. It was a close thing.

Like I said, we survived. Between the three of us we managed to fake knowing what we were doing enough to pull it off. And I'm on A-yard again tomorrow. Again, in the Watcher's spot. he's out doing training. Hopefully Sgt Uncle Buck will be there. And I have no idea who my help will be. I hope it's someone as good as Miz Fawkes.

But I doubt I'd be that lucky two nights in a row.

Aaahhhh.... I was hoping I'd get to see this day soon! Tomorrow is National Goof-off Day.

But with Buck around, I doubt I'll get to goof off much. Pfui. I'll give it my best, tho.


  1. I have a co-worker who will audibly piss while talking on his phone. Not only if you are calling him, but sometimes when he calls you.

    He's kind of an asshole.

  2. Wow. Stopping once is really hard. Stopping twice...I don't think I could have done it. Is there no way to say, "Hey, I'm peeing. Hold on"?

  3. Doug- I consider that one of the rudest things you can do to somebody. It's akin to peeing on their shoes in my book.

    Chanel- Unfortunately we haven't developed a radio code for that yet. We should, though...