Complaint Department

We have a complaint process for the offenders to follow when they feel that they have been wronged or even slighted.

Short of filing a lawsuit, they can file an "Informal Resolution Request" , or IRR as it is known. They jot down their grievance and send it to whoever is higher up the food chain than whoever they are complaining about, usually their caseworker or FUM. That person then routs it to whoever the grievance is directed to and they have to write an answer to how the problem can be resolved.

A lot of inmates abuse this process. They file over and over about piddly things or make stuff up to try and get rid of a staff member who is doing their job maybe a little zealously. They also threaten to file them on us, expecting that to intimidate us. Unfortunately we can't write them up for threats when they do that. Oh lawsy that would be sweet!

I found part of an IRR out on the yard tonight. It had been torn up and only part of it was left. I didn't get the offenders name or number, but I did get his housing unit and the part with his complaint.

His complaint was that the housing unit staff were "constantly harassing" him verbally and "cursing and threatening" him for no reason.

I could tell that he was trying to make his complaint sound as valid and coherent as possible. There were a couple of phrases that stuck in my mind:

"With this predicated authority, they are utilizing themselves as a hoe to weed out the offenders that they feel could be or are problematic."

And:

"It is fundamental principle that reasonably competent officers would look at this as being an abuse of discretion and made in bad faith."

Huh?

I think somebody borrowed a thesaurus. Or maybe a copy of the Declaration.

But the best part of it was the part where he was supposed to write down what he thought would solve his dilemma. He wrote:

"To elevate any further problems, I would like to be moved to another house."

I repeat, huh? Elevate? Maybe you should have borrowed a dictionary too, bub!

I just love it when they try to sound official because most of them do it so poorly. Ah well. If it wasn't for the dimwitted, I'd be out of a job.

It wasn't much of a Goof Off Day for me. They walked my legs off out on the yard with escorts and such. maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.

Oh, that's just somewhat cruel.

Tomorrow is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip and Dip Day.

I hope I have chips and dip, because my office is still screwed up and likely to stay that way for awhile. Pfui. Chips, anyone?