I'm No Babysitter!!!

I gave up tolerating children in my home quite some time ago. I put my foot down and told the wife "No more. Never again."

It was one of the few times that I put my foot down and meant it and got away with it.

My wife is a former CO and she doesn't put up with much BS either. Especially from me.

The inmates have learned that when I'm around and they act like children they are either going to get ignored or thumped.

If you want to be around me and have a pleasant evening, act like an adult or I am going to thump you. It's a simple rule to live by. Everybody should have that posted in their living space somewhere prominent.

Tonight Sgt Puddle was trying to finish up doing the yearly ratings for his minions. Vinnie called out so the only one he had to do tonight was Miz Odd.

If he would have asked me, I would have told him to schedule more time, because it was going to go badly. Sgt Puddle and Miz Odd tend to butt heads quite often. They are both nice people and knowledgeable about the jobs, but hardheaded like nobody's business.

Since Vinnie was out they stuck Miz Pancakes up there and when the rating started going downhill, Sgt Puddle sent Miz Pancakes out of the control center. He said "Go up to the comm room and keep Rev company for awhile. I'm sure he's lonely up there."

Now, don't get me wrong. I like the girl. She seems to show up for work most of the time (I don't keep track) and seems to be able to do most anything you ask of her. She is pleasant and fairly capable. I don't know how she would be if trouble hit but that's just from lack of experience. She doesn't seem afraid of the inmates which is a good thing.

The problem is that she looks like she is about fourteen. Freaking young. I think she's twenty something. She'd have to be at least twenty one to be working here. And she acts real young too, at times. Not immature, just young. Young enough to drive me batty after awhile.

She chattered constantly and played with the teevee set and dug through the fridge and rifled through all the desk drawers and played with the stuff in there and ran around and chattered some more....

I was seriously thinking about breaking out some duct tape.

When I realized I didn't have any duct tape, I just rolled my eyes and tried to be nice. It was hard. I get used to the solitude up in the comm room. Comm room nights are my calm nights.

Maybe I was just having a crabby night. It didn't seem like it at first, but getting my space invaded got under my skin pretty quick.

Next time I'm telling Puddle that if he wants me to babysit, it's going to cost him one medium pepperoni pizza.

Maybe I should bring in some toys; some Lego's and stuff and keep them in one of the drawers. Just in case.

And just in case Miz Pancakes is reading this: You are not really that annoying, dear. I exaggerate just a little. Remember: Feed the Rev and he won't be so grouchy next time.

For tomorrow we have a hat trick. It's I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and National Anthem Day .

Hm... Was the National Anthem written on March 3rd? Anybody?