Thursday, January 21, 2010

General Mayhem

It was just one of those nights. One of those nights. Like we were hip deep in caterpillars all night long.

We now have two offenders on the meal loaf, and neither one of them is happy about it. The first guy just won't respond when you offer it to him. And then when you walk away he goes up and pees out his door.

I guess it was a commentary on the cuisine.

The second guy when I offered it to him, he told me "You can stick that meal loaf up your a**!"A few minutes later he realized he might get hungry later and started screaming "Hey! Give me my mother fuc*king food, you fa**ot! Give me my mother fuc*king food right now, fa**ot!"

I listened to him kick and scream for awhile and figured I might give him another chance. I was even polite about it. All I got in return was more profanity and aspersions on my sexuality and some veiled threats about what would happen when he got out of prison.

That just doesn't work for me. He refused it. I have a suspicion that if I had tried to serve it to him that I would have ended up wearing most of it.

I bet he'll be hungry by morning, tho.

And while all of this was going on they sent us this utility person to work the bubble who was pretty much useless.

Couldn't hear us, or just wasn't listening.

Couldn't see us out in the wings.

Wasn't paying attention. I think I could have run through the sally port in flames and she wouldn't have noticed.

Opened several wrong doors. In C-wing of all places.


By the time the night was over I was having issues. I thought about going up and chewing her out but I'm sure it would have just made it worse. And not much is worse than a petulant bubble officer. I'm sure she would have just sulked and refused to open anything.

KP agreed with me. He's the voice of reason in the house. So I kept my yap shut.

But it wasn't easy. Lawd, it wasn't easy.


  1. I love your blog, keep posting related topics. God bless!

  2. Shoulda' told him to put his catchers mitt on and stand at the back of the cell, 'cause his meal loaf was have been coming special delivery!

    PS wv = azersepe. Say that three times fast.

  3. I'm a first-time visitor and former 9-1-1 operator, and this post cracked me up. I also worked the desks at two local PDs. I worked one so rarely that I often scrwed up simple stuff like the blasted sally port doors. I'm sure the guys wanted to pistol whip my wayward knuckes.