Monday, January 18, 2010

Alas, A Loaf

I had forgotten last night that we had a guy who got treated with the meal loaf again. The one in the picture above actually looks more appetizing than the one we serve.

Our loaf looks like someone may have already eaten it once. 'Nuff said!

This knucklehead has apparently had enough issues with day shift that they have written him violations for three food or sanitation related incidents. Enough to get him put on the meal loaf.

If you haven't seen or heard of this before, go on yahoo and look up "prison loaf recipe". It's extremely nasty.

I got the pleasure of serving him his first dose of it last night. I popped open his chuck hole and said "Hey, Chuckles. You want to eat this nasty disgusting glop?" He said he did and I plopped it down in his hands, nasty and wet and cold as it was.

Later on during the evening I hear him saying how nasty it was and somebody else in the wing told him that if he went on suicide watch he would get a brown bag instead of the loaf.

Uhhhhh....... no. That's not how it works.

So he went on suicide watch on our shift and he went to sleep dreaming of his brown bag breakfast. And when morning came and they served him the loaf again, he got mad and smeared poop around his cell to get back at us.

I wonder if they could tell the difference between the loaf and...... never mind.

So someone wrote him another violation and filled out more paperwork and got him an extension on the loaf. Eighteen more meals of it.


He was hungry by dinner time and took the thing again. From the noises I heard coming from his cell, I don't think it went down too well. I won't describe them.

I think he's going to be one extremely hungry and contrite little critter about six days from now when he gets to eat real food again.

I may be wrong, tho.


  1. Well. That helps my diet. blerg.

  2. Amy- I was glad I had eaten before it arrived. Pretty pretty nassy.

  3. I think the loaf is such a great idea. Its a shame they don't sell it for civilian use. I know of many smart ass teenagers who could use a dose of the loaf.