Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Rumor Mill

I keep looking for this building on our camp, but I can never find it. But there has to be a building, or at least a large room, where a bunch of people sit around and think up the rumors that are constantly flying around.

I can just see them sitting in a smoke-filled room, maybe playing Gin Rummy, and saying "So, who we gonna talk about this week?"

I'll admit that I've started a few myself. But the ones that I started were so completely and obviously untrue that they were destined for failure. I started one a few years ago that the place was going to be closed down and turned into a Krispy Kreme donut factory. That was pretty funny until it got back to me via someone who believed it. I just rolled my eyes and said "Man, whoever told you that is full of it!"

So many rumors..... so many rumors.

It's getting to the point that when someone starts the conversation with "Hey, did you hear about......" and I just tune them out and sing little songs in my head and nod politely. Or look scandalized, whichever seems appropriate.

I guess that's what happens when you have so many people jammed into such a small area. I don't know how large the camp is. I would say twenty acres, but I may be way off one way or another. I'm a terrible judge of that sort of thing. But at any given time there's somewhere around 3,000 people (staff and inmates) all here at the same time. This place is armpit deep in people most of the time.

I think many of the rumors are started because people get bored and restless. Sometimes it because they are just being nasty. Sometimes it's a little of both. Me, I start them because they're funny and I want to see people's reactions.

There was a rumor the other day that Vinnie bid out because he and GM weren't getting along. The truth is, he just needed a change. So I put out the rumor that Vinnie and Big M (who is also a guy) were having an affair and one of them wanted to take it to the next level and the other didn't. Big M got a laugh out of it. I don't think Vinnie has heard that one yet. He's still out and incommunicado. He'll think it's funny.

But some of the rumors are just spiteful. I'd like to find the room where the rumor mongers hang out and dream this crap up and brick the door shut. But that's just wishful thinking on my part.

The rumors will always fly around like fat bloated pigeons.

I'll just try to duck so they don't crap on me.

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