Friday, December 30, 2011

Like Herding Cats

Out on B-yard again tonight. And they gave me Sausage, Kermit and Uncle Scary for my officers. Oh joy.

I actually think herding cats would have been more fun.

And my head is still ringing from their constant yakking. Between Uncle Scary and Sausage you'd think they invented the world. Been everywhere and done everything better and faster than anybody ever has or ever could. They've experienced so many things between them that I'm constantly surprised that they haven't left Earth for more exciting places yet.

But I'm sure the rest of the universe is already old hat to those two.

Once again, I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

And Kermit. What can you say about Kermit?

He has absolutely no social skills at all. He's abrupt and rude and in-your-face about everything. I had him out front of the chow hall down pat searches and every single one of them was almost a use of force. He treated each offender like they had a weapon on them somewhere and he was determined to find it.

I think the phrase "He manhandled them" fits him to a tee.

Several of the offenders looked at me afterwards and I just spread my hands like "What can you do? It's Kermit!" They just shook their heads and went on.

So, it felt good and bad to be on the yard. I know how to handle most of the things that come up and I know the daily routines. But that crew drove me to distraction.

It will almost be a relief to go back to 10 house tomorrow and hide in my office.

I still have no idea where I'm going or what shift I'll end up on. There are so many Sergeants shifting around right now that I'm going to wait and see what comes up on third shift.

For now I'll play The Waiting Game.

Later on I'll get bored and play Hungry Hungry Hippos. Then I'll feel better.

Friday is going to be Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day as well as Bacon Day, Falling Needles Family Fest Day and Relaxation Day.

I'll need a bicarbonate and some relaxation after today all right!


  1. Rev, this post made me laugh out loud! I can just hear Uncle Scary and Sausage by way of your writing...too funny!

    Sounds like being a Sergeant has a whole new set of challenges...besides the characters you have to work with!

    Enjoy your weekend...Happy New Year!


  2. Rev, EVERY day is Bacon Day. At least it is when I go camping.

  3. Do they also tell the same stories as if they've never told them before? I love that.

    And I'm with Joe. Camping or not, every day is bacon day.

  4. How can it be Enormous Changes at the Last Minute Day AND Relaxation Day on the same day?!!

    My word was "ententen." Does that mean to put someone in a tent?

  5. One thing I know sausage has done that more than likely no body else has. Had a lighter shot out of a sphincter and was hit in the boot with said lighter. Lol. Did he ever get a purple heart for that ?


  6. Jenny- I love making you laugh. And this Sergeant business requires a whole new skill set that I'm just discovering. If I can keep from strangling the both of them....

    Joe- You got that right. Bacon! Hoo rah!

    Brent- Oh yes. The same stories over and over.... **sigh**

    Lolamouse- I don't make the list. And I think that word would be "ententulate" but I might be mistaken.

    Ghost- I don't know about his heart but he must have a stainless steel jaw hinge to take all that abuse and not shear off!

  7. I am glad that the crew I work with does not involve a sausage or an Uncle Scary. I feel that I would choose to stay at home and mash my toes with a hammer. Congrats on winning the story contest this week by the way!!
    Veri word is diseg....Really it's diseg hahaha that's funny.