Saturday, December 3, 2011

Hey Now!

Really. I have no idea what that picture is supposed to represent. I just put the word "hey" in my image search box and there it was...

"Hey, now!" is something that I say, usually to myself, when I'm startled or confused or nonplussed. I said it alot this evening.

There's a spot along the inner perimeter fence behind Main Production where the fence around the refrigeration machinery is only eight feet high. And since the razor wire is in two foot coils, that means it hangs down real close to the six foot level. Usually when I'm checking that part of the fence I walk all hunched over, since I am a shade over six feet tall.

I don't know if I got distracted and straightened up or bobbed when I should have weaved or what. Came to the end of the run to turn the corner and all of the sudden my hat was gone!

Hey now! I whipped around and there was my hat, hanging in the razor wire, waving in the breeze. At least it wasn't my scalp. I removed it carefully and luckily it didn't tear a hole in my new twenty dollar hat. For that kind of money, that sucker has to last me for at least a year!

And I spent at least half of the night losing my water bottles. I never did manage to drink a whole one before it would disappear. The water at the prison is extremely nasty and the only way I drink any of it is after it runs through a coffee filter. Otherwise I bring my own bottled water to drink.

We almost always have a golf cart on the yard and I usually leave my bottle on the cart so it won't fall out of my coat pocket. And every time I went to get a drink... Hey, now! Someone has run off with the cart and my bottle.

Warning! PG-13 Language and innuendo alert!

Sgt Archer is a big hunting and outdoor sportsman. He hunts and fishes and shoots things and even does taxidermy on the side. I imagine if you gave him a long rifle and a pair of buckskin pants he would disappear into the woods and never be seen again. Of course, Miz Archer would beat him silly if he tried that, but he'd think about it.

Anyway, he rummaged around in the shack and found a hunting magazine or Cabelas catalog or something and said "Ooooo.... hunting porn." Then he flipped it sideways like he was looking at the centerfold and said "Check out that beaver!!!"

I cracked up. The he drove off with the cart and my water bottle again.

Okay. Back to the Rated G stuff.

Things went mostly okay until we were about 75% of the way through our evening perimeter check when they called a fight at 6 house. Since I was the furthest one away I got there last and it was all done before I made it to the door. Sgt Archer was flying across the yard on the cart while I was running and all I could hear was him singing "I'm driving in my car.... I turn on the radio..." as he sped past. The nut.

While I'm still trying to catch my breath Captain CJ and Lt Poolio show up and a few minutes later they come back out and "appropriate" the cart and drive off with my water bottle.

Hey now!

So I walk all the way up to central and as soon as they go inside I re-appropriated the cart and brought it back. Fortunately I managed to get a drink on the way.

When I make it back to 6 house Sgt Archer comes out and tells me I'm going to help count and relieve until Anakin can go take care of the paperwork. Then he gets on the cart and.... well, you know.

Hey.......! Aw, frack it. I'll get something to drink when I get home...

Here's the weekend lineup:
Saturday: National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day, Earmuff Day, Skywarn Recognition Day, National Apple Pie Day and the day of St Francis Xavier. (not the one we have on the yard)

Sunday: Wear Brown Shoes Day, National Cookie day, National Dice day, and the day of St John Damascene, whoever he was.

Monday: National Sacher Torte Day, Bathtub Party Day (oh, boy!), National Ninja Day, National Turn Rev Into A Nervous Wreck Day, Repeal of Prohibition Day (I might need a drink!) and the feast of St John The Wonder Worker.

I can't wait for Monday to be over.....


  1. I'll be looking forward to Monday if it's really National Sacher Torte Day (I'll pass on the rest of Monday's lineup though).

    You come up with the most interesting photos for your posts! Are these things you find over at Tumblr?

    And...glad your hat survived the fence ordeal!


  2. You have a Francis Xavier in the yard? I bet you probably have a Jesus or two, also, don't you?

  3. I think the picture represents the ongoing struggle between karate toddlers and cartoon octopi.

    PG-13!! Whoo, you grabbed my attention with that one.

    We also have plenty of "hunting porn" around my work. Haven't seen any beavers, though. It's mostly strapping young bucks and guys packing big guns. I guess that's just how they roll around there.

  4. Love that picture! I enjoy randomness.

  5. Jenny- I wouldn't know a Sacher torte if it bit me in the butt. Well, i would afterwards, I guess. I find my pics alot of different places, usually yahoo image search.

    Doug- He's just St Francis. Not sure of his middle name. And all of the Jesus'es I know are inmates.

    Bryan- We are hip deep in hunters and fishermen of all sorts here. Sheesh!

    Lolamouse- I tend to think pretty randomly, most of the time.