Friday, January 21, 2011

I Should Think These Things Through

A couple of months ago, I was somewhere working with Sgt Homer and he talked me in to agreeing to be on the Institutional Fire Brigade.

I'm not sure how he did that, other than just asking me nicely and saying he was in a bind. The only two people on the fire brigade on our shift are Homer and Sgt McGiggles. So if there was a fire or even just a fire alarm and neither one of them was on shift, they either had to call one of them or the Fire and Safety guy at home and have them come in and check it out before they could clear the building safe again.

It was a pain. So I said "Okay, I'll do it."

Then a few weeks ago there was an application sent out through the email that I didn't see. A more formal application for fire brigade. Sgt Archer told me about it and printed me a copy. I filled it out and sent it in and promptly forgot about it.

I figured it would go the way that all the other training I had ever put in for went. They would say "Yeah! You'd be good at that! We'll get you scheduled for the training right away!" And I would never hear from them again.

The way I looked at it, occasionally applying for training worked out as a good way to keep the training people from bothering me for a few months at a whack. It has been a flawless system up to this point.

Up to this point.

Today I came in and the Fire and Safety guy was in the assembly room. He turns to me and says "Hey, you have been accepted on the Institutional Search and Rescue Squad."

I just raised a somewhat confused looking eyebrow and said "What?"

Apparently somebody thought that just having a mere Fire Brigade sounded weak or something so they changed the name to the Institutional Search and Rescue Squad.

That sounds like a heck of a lot more work than what I originally signed up for. I wanted to ask "Will we get our own helicopter, some climbing gear and maybe a couple of those inflatable Zodiac boats and cool jumpsuits with lots of pockets?"

Hell, I'd settle for a uniform that wasn't as flammable as a strike-anywhere match.

But I reigned in my combined enthusiasm/sarcasm (enthusicasm?) and just said "Okey dokey."

He said "The list has been approved, so basically you are on the team as of now."

"With no training?" I asked, knowing full well what his answer would be.

"Yup." he nodded. "We'll get you some training schedule here in the next couple of weeks."

Yeah...... That seems oddly familiar....

So I am officially on the Fire Brigade. Or the Institutional Search and Rescue Squad. Or whatever they are calling it this week. I know just enough that if they called me in I could look at whatever is ablaze and say officially "Yep. That thing's on fire. You should really do something about that."

I'm just too agreeable sometimes. I need to work on that.

So your lineup for this weekend is as follows: Saturday is a double header consisting of National Answer Your Cat's Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day. Blonde brownies? Like Girl Scouts only younger or what? Who knows?

Sunday is a triple header with National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day. Measure. Your. Feet. Really.

And Monday is a day we have all been waiting for all year... Eskimo Pie Patent Day! Huzzah!


  1. Well, you know, sometimes being properly trained is overblown. Just take charge and do a lot of pointing.

  2. Search and Rescue sounds more impressive. :) Blonde brownies look more tan colored than the regular dark brown brownies.

  3. Eskimo pie day?! Excellent!

    Umm, search and rescue? Aren't you supposed to be keepign track of these guys all the time? Where would they wander off too that they would want you to find them? Is there a ravine in one of your rec yards?

  4. JPT- I think I can do that. Yup, it's on fire all right!

    Misty- I just hope I haven't been suckered into something stupid. They look more like chocolate chip cookies, right?

    Anon- I don't have a clue what they are thinking. When i find out what it entails I'll let you guys know.