Sunday, July 26, 2009

Dear Crabby

Maybe I'm a good listener. I dunno. maybe I just got one of those faces that says to people "Hey, tell me all about your relationship."

Maybe it's the fact that I'm older than alot of the folks I work with and the fact that I occasionally use proper english and big words that they think I've got some ancient wisdom that I can impart.

I get to hear about everybody's love life. Or lack thereof.

Dude, I have been married for twenty two years! Longer than you have been alive!

What the hell do I know about dating? If something were to happen and my wife wasn't with me anymore, I would probably sleep alone for the rest of my life. Not for any weird loyalty, but because I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to find someone else.

And you're asking ME for advice? Get on with you.

I can tell you who is the most likely to have some contraband in the house and who seriously needs to be thumped. I can tell you where the rec book is stashed and where the secret cache of leave slips is hidden. (Worth their weight in gold, those are!) I can tell you which caseworkers will do their job and which ones will slack off so you have to chase them down for information.

Outside of work, I can tell you many many things.

A good place to start a blog, for instance. Or where to find an authentic reproduction gas tank dipstick for a Model T Ford. Or some really weird music videos.

But I don't have a clue whether or not you should do the girl from the Pizza Hut. And fer gawds sakes don't tell me how old she is!

I'll thump the snot out of you, I swear.


That's what I'd like to say, anyway.

But what I do is listen and try to keep my crew out of trouble. Because if they are happy at home they are happy at work.

And I need all of my crew here.

maybe I should charge by the hour.....


  1. lol.... you remind me of my little sister. Strangers are for ever giving her all the info on their private lives while she's waiting in the grocery line.
    She must have the same sign on her behind.
    I remember once I asked her if she knew that woman and she told me that she had never met her before in life.

  2. Tango- I try to paste a sympathetic look on my mug while they are going on but my mind is screaming "Why are you telling me this?" I gotta get that sign off my butt.

  3. Yep, happy at home...happy at work. I heard something similar to that long ago at a veterinary seminar and it is sooo true. All the whiners at work have unhappy homelifes...and I know when I am having issues, it's usually because of something going on at home...