Friday, May 1, 2009

You Better Check My File!!!!

I love it. Knew it was going to happen and for once I was right.

Mouthy little punk. About three feet tall. Thinks he's hardcore and all that. Great big mouth, little tiny brain.

And he's only gay on the inside. Brags about all the "girlfriends" he's had while he's been in prison, but is embarrassed to admit that they have all been men.

But he's one bad little Mo-fo, for sure.

Finally managed to get himself C-5'ed. Was proud of it. Wore his rating like a badge of how bad he was. Every time someone would get on him about something he would shout "Man, I'm a C-5, mother fu**er! I don't give a fu**! You better check my file!!!"

He bragged and bragged about that. Told anybody who would listen that he was a C-5 and what a bada** he was. Of course when you went to check his file and see why he was such a dangerous critter, you'd discover that it was all for creating a disturbance, disobeying an order, insulting behavior, things like that. Petty, stupid crap. No fights, no assaults on staff, no escape attempts. Just running his pie hole.

So when they finally decided to transfer our own little Hannibal Lecter to a C-5 camp, he waited until they came to take him to the bus and he said "If you try to make me get on that bus, I'm going to kill myself." Because he knew that he couldn't transfer on suicide watch status.

He got his wish and got put on suicide watch and didn't transfer. He thinks that it will keep him in our camp for "a very long time." His words.

So for all his blowing about what a bad little dude he is, it turns out he's too scared to stand up for the consequences of his actions. Imagine that.

But I got bad news for the little smurf. If he wants to stay on our camp, he's going to have to do all the rest of his sentence on suicide watch. Because the second they take him off watch he's down the road to the big bad scary C-5 camp that he's too chicken sh*t to go to.

Nothing but a smock to wear. No mattress. No blanket. No mail. No phone calls. No recreation. Nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and cookies to eat. No cup. No soap.

And to make matters even worse, he pulled a bunch of threads out of the smock he was wearing to try and make a cadillac and he got caught. So they are taking $250.00 out of his account to make him pay for a new one.

He said "I'm not paying for that! And you can't make me!"

Bad news again...... yes, he is. One way or another.

I don't know how much time he has left on his sentence. Years, hopefully.

Let's see how long he makes it in there.

Place your bets.... place your bets....


  1. Oh my...I came to your blog via Tango's Goings Ons and have smiled and shivered at the same time...and I no longer have to wonder about the name of your blog...but what's a cadillac?

  2. Terry- Welcome to the slightly bizarre world of corrections. If you'll run back to this post: it will explain all about cadillacs.

  3. I have always wondered about the Cadillac??? if GM goes bankrupt will the inmates have to rename it?

    I think it loose some of its' meaning if we have to start calling it Hyundai or Suzuki!

    I say "they" should have put his A** on the bus anyway...and when he arrived at the C5 camp he could have been someone little Bit** and then he could have called a code 16. At least he would have had something to be suicidal about...

  4. My father, a lifetime military officer, also used to tell us, “the bigger the mouth, smaller the brain” But his saying “it’s the quite ones you have to worry about” has proved right on for me in my life, because you know big mouths are always full of shit so you know where they are coming from, the quite ones you never know.

  5. Doc- You are so right. And another transfer day has passed and he still didn't go. So much for hoping...

    Tonya- Your dad was right on both counts. The loudest ones are the most annoying but the quiet ones are the ones that are most likely to get someone hurt.