Saturday, May 2, 2009

While The Cat's Away

Last night Vinnie stopped by the house. He had a weird and savage tale about how he and Chuck went out and terrorized the titty bars in the neighboring state on their night off.

And how they ended up tucking their tails in between their legs and running for their lives at the end.

I'm not going to repeat the whole story. Just a highlight or two. It will give you, my dear readers, an insight into the people I have to work with.

It seems that during the course of the night someone got the mistaken idea that they were undercover DEA agents on some sort of sting operation.

I can see how this would happen.

Vinnie looks like an undercover cop. Or at least a cop in street clothes. He's young and tall and fairly well built and has a neck that is exactly as wide as his head. He's got that nordic good looks thing about him that either says "Cop" or "Marine". Or possibly both. His hair is just long enough to be in style, but bordering on regulation. He can tuck it up under his hat and you can't tell it's long.

Hell, maybe he is an undercover cop. I can't tell. He's that good at it.

Chuck is also young and has that wide-eyed innocence about him. He's got a wide smile that covers his whole face and he has this Iowa corn-fed freshness about him that is completely disarming. His face has this look that just screams "I'm a divorced sailor on leave and I have ten dollars in my pocket. Let's go wild."

He'd be a perfect undercover cop, because you would never suspect him.

Anyway, they were over the border in....... let's call it "Springfield" to narrow it down, skipping from one strip bar to another. They started out in the first place, went to a couple more and went back to the first one.

While they were gone, apparently someone got the idea that they were undercover.

Normally, this is something you would want to play pretty close to your vest.

You'd think, anyway.

But when they got back, the whole place was a-buzz with the news. A guy walked up to Vinnie and muttered something. He didn't hear it clearly, so the guy came back and said "The guy over there in the corner. With the hat. He's got the drugs." He pointed to a crew at one of the corner tables.

At that point, Vinnie grabbed Chuck by the arm and said "Let's go. Now." They tore out of the place with the backs of their necks twitching, expecting a hail of bullets as they left. Hopefully the guy in the hat in the corner was just as nervous and anguished about being busted and facing federal time and maybe he'll never do it again.

But I doubt it.

And maybe Vinnie and Chuck will have learned that those kind of places are not healthy to be in if you are involved in law enforcement.

But I doubt that, too.

If nothing else, it was a milestone for dear Chuck. This was the first time in his entire life that he went into a strip club and didn't get to stay long enough to spend his entire bankroll and get silly enough to be thrown out of the place.

Yay, Chuckie!

Maybe there's hope for you yet.

But I doubt it.

1 comment:

  1. And now Chuck is upset with me. He thinks I've cast him in a bad light. He's not a bad guy. Nor is he stupid. He's one of my crew and I would trust him to be at my back in a ruckus any time. Higher praise I cannot and do not give. I like him and I trust him and I think he's a good cat. He just gets a bit silly under the influence of fermentation at times. Happens to all of us. Lighten up, Chucky. I've told worse stories about myself.