Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I'm sure I've posted about this before, but I'll go ahead and hit on it again, since the subject arose.

The Adseg unit stinks.

It reeks.

The place is like a square half acre sized basketball shoe stuffed under a teenagers bed.

That is the reason I quit breathing through my nose several years ago. If I hadn't, my sinuses would have leapt screaming from inside my head.

The inmates only get to shower every three days. And they can only do laundry once a week. And many of them, for reasons known only to themselves, don't do either one.

They get sent down to my house with three changes of clothes. That should be plenty. But they usually destroy at least one pair of clothes by pulling out threads to make their cadillacs. I took one last night that was made from a whole sheet, torn into strips. Took it because it was out on the walk right in my face. Idiot. Snatched it up and rolled it up and threw it into the trash.

So somebody in A-wing now only has one sheet. I could have investigated and found out who tore up their stuff and wrote them a violation for it. But it was good enough to leave them with only one sheet and leave it at that.

Once thay have destroyed as many pairs of clothes as they need, they are usually left with one set to wear. For a whole week until they can do laundry again. Nasty. And don't get me started about their breath. There are cells that I won't even stop at because it smells like they have been eating carrion in there. I can't take it. At least not without some vicks vapo-rub under my nose.

Alot of these inmates spend most of their time either sleeping or doing pushups in their cells. And as the weather gets warmer, the smell of unwashed bodies is only going to get worse. The constant funk blowing out of the cells is enough to make my eyes water.

I'd almost welcome an outbreak of swine flu or t.b. so I could use that as an excuse to wear a mask.

As another sweltering summer approaches I'm beginning to dream of body armor like the imperial storm troopers wear in Star Wars. Actually, just the helmets. Give me something to cover my nose and I'll be much happier.

If you have ever gone into a locker room after a football game in the summer or a homeless shelter in an urban area you might have a good idea of what I get to experience every day.

There are a few offenders who keep their cells clean daily and wash themselves and rinse out their clothes in the sink. Some of them even use deodorant and toothpaste. I cherish them. But they are few and far between.

There isn't enough bleach in the world to get this place completely clean again. It would just have to be razed and the ground sown with salt. Roped off and buried.

I wonder what the half life of body odor is?


  1. Oh gross. Maybe there should be a new rule. Coral them all in one room and hose them down? That's just nasty!

  2. Ummm, I seem to remember a point in your life when you showered, shaved and put on clean clothes. I remember it because the dogs wouldn't let you in the house. You sounded right but you sure didn't have that nasty old shoe odor they associated with you and you sure didn't look right. Short hair, shaved, decent clothes instead of 3 layers of crappy old army cast offs. Hell I hardly recognized you.

  3. da rev...oh my god the things i've smelled in my lifetime! but yes the boys gym is bad, and I have two teenage boys rooms to go into, thankfully last year they discovered axe deoderant... (i think) But since i've always had a strong stomach, i've always been the disignated dead animal picker-upper. there's a smell and sight ya don't soon forget.
    loopy out

  4. I worked on a far that had migrant workers years before I worked there, and their quarters still smelled bad ten years later. I don't think the migrants were unclean by nature, it's just that the farmer never provided proper sanitation for them for regular bathing and clothes washing.

  5. Tango- It's crossed my mind, believe me. Unfortunately, they don't let me do most of the things I think of.

    Anon- Teenagers are strange. Let's just leave it at that. I never got to the level that these guys have.

    Loopy- There are times when a good decomp would smell better than some of these cells. really.

    Guy- There's something about bad odors that seep down to the sub atomic level, I think. They are so pervasive they contaminate beyond the point of cleaning. I suspect we may be on the verge of discovering an new atomic particle here. Reekons.