Monday, May 25, 2009

Stepped Right Into The Snap

Holy snap! Stepped right off into the snit yesterday. As soon as we got in the door. Things were rocking and rolling.

The Hive is completely full again and they won't stop locking them up for stupid things. So we are kicking them back out on the hill five or ten days early. And I would say that a good number of the ones we have kicked out early are going to be back inside of a week. We kicked out five on our shift and I'm guessing at least three of them will be back by next weekend if not sooner.

There was a fight down in the wobblehead house right before shift change and as they were being escorted down to us, one of them pulled away from the escorting officer and spit in his face. He ended up getting sprayed and slammed and a 10-5 was called that nobody but me heard, apparently.

Actually, what I heard was "garble 5 garble central security".

I stopped and said "What was that?"

The control center came on and said "Repeat your last transmission?"

And somebody else said "10-6 the 10-5 behind central security."

To which I replied "Holy snap! We're getting another lockup!"

Turns out we were getting two of them that we didn't know about. Nobody had bothered to call us. Nice.

And half of the ones they locked up on our shift refused to be in a cell with anyone else. And nobody wanted to move out of C-wing. As a matter of fact, day shift wrote several violations for just that very thing. One jagoff check-in was up in C-wing yelling at everybody to refuse to move and several of them went with him. So they wrote him and his pals up for Organized Disobedience, which is the same thing as "Inciting To Riot" and is actually considered a major violation and is potentially prosecutable. They won't prosecute, but it would be nice if they did just for once. Show these fracking clowns we mean business.

But it will never happen. More's the pity.

So we did room moves and kickouts and room moves. Shuffled paperwork and files and updated the computer and tried to keep everything straight. Sarges desk was piled high with files and folders and chickenscratch notes.

And right in the middle of feeding dinner and pulling out laundry, some clown muttered something to me about having suicidal thoughts. I said "What did you say? And he just went and sat down on his bunk. Refused to say any more.

I grabbed the utility officer we had and posted him up in front of the guys door and told him keep eyeballs on the guy. Nipped over and helped Chuck with a lockup that was refusing a cellie and got the knucklehead put on the restraint bench. Then went and told Sarge what was going on and figured out who we could move out of a suicide cell.

We pulled the suicidal thoughts dude out of the cell and had Sarge watch him while we moved a guy out of a suicide cell and put him where the other dude came from. Then got dude and stripped him out and gave him a smock. He seemed surprised and affronted that we were doing that to him. Not long after he began screaming at the door and told the dorm worker his head was bleeding. We looked inside and didn't see anything. When we came up to the door he stated that he wasn't having suicidal thoughts, it was his cellie and the whole thing was a mistake and we needed to get him out of there immediately.

My guess is he thought he was just going to get a cell by himself and didn't know what having suicidal thoughts entailed. And since this is a long weekend, he's probably going to be in that smock until tomorrow morning, at least.

Poor sap. chuckle chuckle chuckle.....

So, about five more room moves later we finally got everyone situated. Then we got started on doing the computer updates and the files moved and the boards changed... It's just a nacher'l born blue eyed dog boned miracle that count cleared. Either a miracle or the fact that we are really amazing at what we do. Of course, we don't get any credit for doing a good job so it must just be a miracle.

Then afterwards we managed to get a couple rounds of rec out. That just rounded out the evening.

It was a really really long night.

And as how we are still full and it's Memorial Day weekend we will still be full when I get in today and we'll get to start the whole process over again. They'll want to lock up some knucklehead for getting loud in the house and we are going to send them an even louder knucklehead in return.



  1. whoa...i go away fer a couple o days and all snap breaks loose.....hang in there rev

  2. I miss the Hive....The constant chaos...the scramble for beds...the door warriors...the screamed obscenities...(I still get those on occasion)

  3. Loopy- You need to quit going away. I don't think I can take too many days like that.

    Peggy Sue- The Hive isn't the same place without you.