We have a bulletin board right across the hall from the comm room. It has a couple items of the usual official party line stuff and some "official" claptrap stuck to it here and there.
But for the most part this is where you advertise if you have something for sale. Almost everybody in the institution passes by that bulletin board at least twice a day, so if you want to get rid of something, that's the place to post it.
I've seen houses, apartments, boats, trailers, trucks, cars, motorcycles, scooters, guns, bows, dogs, cats, cattle, llamas, ducks and even once a snake.
And one edge of the board is covered with business cards. Most of them are side businesses of people working at the prison or relatives of people working at the prison. Once again, you can find almost anything from roofing to cakes to home made laundry soap, DJ services, widow washing and holistic massage. We are a versatile and eclectic bunch.
Being me and getting bored easily, I occasionally come up with odd ideas for things to put up on the bulletin board. Not that I'm trying to sell anything or have any particular agenda to put across. I just like making people either smile or scratch their heads and say "What?"
This morning I had an idea come to fruition in that steampunk junkyard I call my brain. I got online and found the picture of the howitzer up there and made up a flyer advertising it for sale. I even put down the specs. It's 155 mm and weighs 9,000 pounds. It can fire 2 rounds per minute and has an effective range of 15-40 miles.
At first I thought my punchline would be the price. I put down "Asking $2,000,000 OBO."
But then another thought struck me and I added "Willing to trade for light truck and washing machine." To me, it was freaking hilarious.
So I stuck it up on the bulletin board and waited to hear a few laughs. That was all I was after. Really.
And I got a few.
Then some people came by and thought it was serious. Some woman (I don't really remember who it was) was complaining "Why would anybody need something like that? Nobody should have one of those! Why are they trying to sell that here?"
I just stood there with my face hanging open and said "Really?"
And then a few more people came by and took it seriously.
I was left pacing the comm room and slapping my head going "Ay-yi-yi!"
I always said "If they ever locked up a rocket scientist I'd fall over backwards."
Today I was saying "If they ever hired a rocket scientist I'd just fall over dead of amazement."
I swear, these people could frack up a knock-knock joke.
On with the calendar. Thursday is going to be Sandwich Day and Housewife's Day. Mmmm... Housewife sandwich... It's also going to be Cliche Day and National Men Make Dinner Day.
I'll gladly burn some water for dinner.
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