Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Kept My Mouth Shut

I behaved myself. Isn't that startling?

Let me back up a bit. Yesterday I got a letter in my mailbox at work that said I had to be up in the Admin building at 3:15 because I was getting an award.

I thought to myself "This has got to be a trick. I haven't done anything." I figured it was like a sting operation and they were getting me outside the fence to put me on investigation or something.

But what could I do? I went. Turns out it wasn't a trick, after all. Some fool put me in for a Lifesaver Award for that last time when the Stork wrapped his bandages around his neck and almost strangled himself. The Squid and GM got one too. I was glad they were there, they made me feel less crabby about the whole thing.

An award for saving the Stork. Holy crap.

So I got to shake hands with the Warden and say "cheese" and get my picture taken. What I really wanted to say was "You want to reward me? Get me enough staff to work with! Hire some people! Go find me some equipment I can use that isn't already falling apart!"

But I kept my mouth shut. I was a good boy.


And when I get back to the house the first thing I see is Chuck and KP and Sausage going in on somebody in C-wing. And it looked like they were going in hard. So I hightailed my butt in there and dived into the fray. By the time I got there they hadn't left anything uncovered but his legs so I jumped on them. And believe me, those legs weren't going anywhere by the time I had him wrapped up.

Chuck and KP and Sausage had the top half and I had the bottom half and right about then Sgt. LB came in and planted his not inconsiderable frame on the guys legs with me.

He wasn't going anywhere.

Apparently he made suicidal statements and then resisted being put on suicide watch. He's the same little punk that sat on the bench for hours because we wouldn't cell him with his boyfriend. He was trying to get his boyfriend to go on suicide watch with him so they could be next door to each other.

That wasn't going to happen, either. They are going to be kept as far apart as possible just because they have been such idiots about it.

So, between the award ceremony and the use of force paperwork, I only had to spend about three hours actually in the house tonight.

And I got to have some fun, to boot.

I guess it was a good thing I kept my mouth shut, after all.

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