Saturday, April 28, 2012

Speak Into The Microphone, Please!

It was looking like it was going to turn into another nothing boring night in 25 house. Not much to do other than annoy Tilt and fiddle with paperwork on the 'puter.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I'm just saying. We actually do prefer the boring nights.

I'd gone over to Central to print some stuff out because Sore bollixed up our printer in the house. Printed my stuff and chatted awhile with Lt Wyatt and was headed back to the house. I decided rather than have the control center pop the gate I'd walk around, just for the exercise.

Got about halfway to the house when an excited radio call came over.

"Garble garble by 28 house!!!"

I didn't know what was happening, but someone sounded excited. Snap! I turned around and ran back the way I had come.

Now if you were paying attention to the numbers, you'd assume that 25 house and 28 house were fairly close to each other.

Well, they're not. 28 is halfway across the dang camp. Snap drat it!

Trot back through Central and Lt Wyatt asks "Was that a 10-49 or a 10-5?"

"Not a clue, man. I'll let you know."

Trot out onto B-yard and off in the distance I see a bunch of officers running past 28 and down the dog run towards 30. I think "Where the snap are they going?"

Then I refocus my eyes and I see Uncle Scary on the pickle ball court putting cuffs on one inmate while another one sat on the ground. So I run that way, still wondering where everyone else went.

St Francis had been heading towards the dog run with everyone else when he saw Uncle Scary dealing with those two so he changed directions. He tries to 10-6 the fight on the radio but all that comes out (because he was running and excited) was "10-49 on the pickle ball court!"

The control center picks up on that and calls it, thinking there is another fight on the yard at the same time.

Oh no no no..... I stop. Key my mike. Take a breath. Then say "10-6 the 10-49 on B-yard."

They get the whole transmission that time. Then they start asking "Was there more than one fight?"

Nope. Just the one. But when people get excited they forget that it takes a second for the mike to key up. So if you just babble something, the first part of your sentence doesn't go out.

The rest of the yard crew only heard "By 28 house!" and started running that way. And when they didn't see anything there, they just kept on going, thinking it was behind the house. It was a good thing St Francis was farther away and saw what was really happening or Uncle Scary might have gotten in a jam.

Stop and breathe, people!

Let them beat each other up for the five seconds it takes to make a clear concise radio broadcast. They'll get tired. Trust me.

Save getting excited for when one of us is in trouble. Okay?

Saturday is going to be Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day as well as Biological Clock Day, Eeyore's Birthday, Penguin Day, Save The Frogs Day and National Blueberry Pie Day.

Save the freaking frogs!


  1. Your job is much more interesting than mine, LOL. Glad it all came out okay ~

    1. Forty Pound Sack- "Interesting" is one way to put it. My job always sounds better when I make it back outside the fence again.

  2. Replies
    1. Bryan- Leave it to you. It's like tennis with a smaller court and ball. Racquetball racquets. (say that five times fast!) A really short net. Actually takes more skill and control than speed like real tennis.

  3. Why can't frogs just sit & be quiet & read books & be nice to each other?

    1. Noisyfrogpond- Well, you know how those frogs are.... Always stirring up trouble! (grin)