Monday, April 30, 2012

It Started Out....

That picture is so cutesy it's almost making me ill.

I'll post it just this once and hope I never have to look at it again.

And I do humbly apologize to you in the meantime.

I don't know what came over me. Really.

So I went in today looking forward to it being a better day. I was going to make a concerted effort not to let anything much get under my skin. Sometimes that works. You never know.

Got into my office and just poured water into the coffee pot when one of the caseworkers pops his head in and says "You better come into the bosses office. There's some fun stuff for you to do." And the way he's smiling I start thinking I might get to bounce somebody.

There's one knucklehead sitting outside and another up against the wall inside the office. And the boss is chewing him up one side and down the other in that quiet measured way that he has.

Apparently there were some shenanigans in the wing the other night in one of the side rooms. As we watch the video playback, a bunch of idiots walk into one of the side rooms. We can see other inmates walking past and as they see what's going on they all speed up and walk away, like they don't want to get caught anywhere near the place.

Presently they all come filing out laughing. Except for the last guy, who is walking slightly bent over and holding onto his nuggetry, obviously in some pain. The last guy on the video is the one sitting out in the hall. The guy who was laughing the loudest and shadow boxing the air afterwards is the guy in the office.

We had a note on him saying he was causing trouble in the wings when the officers were away and threatening people who tried to get him to admit that he was breaking the rules of the treatment program. A real live bad axe street thug, this one was.

The Boss tells him "You were fighting or something. You hit him."

"No Sir." he says "I never laid a hand on that man. There was no altercation. I didn't do anything."

And he keeps it up for about fifteen minutes. Steadily refusing to admit to anything.

Finally the Boss says "That's enough. I'm done. Sgt Rev, put him in cuffs. I'm locking them both up under investigation for a fight. I'll let the investigator sort this one out."

Just as soon as I put the cuffs on his wrists this Billy Bad Axe breaks down and starts crying.


Oh, I do so love it when they cry. (I'm a jacka*s, I know it. And insensitive, to boot)

He weeps and admits that they were horseplaying.

The Boss says "It's too late now. You should have told me twenty minutes ago. I would have just wrote you a violation. Now you're going to the Hive. Maybe you'll think about being honest next time."

So we get them packed off to the Hive for ten days or so, just in time to take the rest of the knuckleheads to chow. Standing out front having a smoke talking to Uncle T and this horn blares. The fire alarm in the chow hall is going off.

Aw... really?

Run inside and start chasing inmates out.

"But Sarge! I'm not done eating!"

"You are now, dummy. Get out now!"

We get the building evacuated and run all over and don't find anything burning or even smoking. In the meantime that alarm is just about to deafen me.

What we do find is a fire alarm station with a broken cover. Right behind the dishwasher in the steam room. Right where offenders walk back and forth to check the machine. And we also found out if you bump it just right, it sets off the alarm.

When we let the workers back in, one of the steam room guys steps up and says "I did it. I backed into it and it went off. Scared me so bad I jumped three feet in the air and ran. I'm sorry. I won't ever do that again, I promise!"

Hey, at least he was honest. We taped the thing back down and had a work order put in to have it moved somewhere else. That was a stupid place to put it in the first instance. Run into a blind corner in order to set off a fire alarm.

What were they thinking? Idiots.

Anyway, the night was uneventful after that. There was a fight, and a good one from what I hear, but it was all the way across camp and didn't involve any of "my" knuckleheads, so I didn't mind. Got to spend some time out chatting with Meany. I hadn't seen him since we pounced that idiot down in the Hive together. What ,maybe a month ago? Seems like forever. Anyway, we ranted and vented to each other for awhile and it seemed like we both felt better afterwards.

So that was good.

All in all, not a bad night. I'll mark it down in the "win" column.

Tuesday I'll be down playing with the wobbleheads. It will be Mother Goose Day and Save The Rhino Day, as well as Batman Day, Lei Day, National Dance Day and (surprise!) National Raisin Rum Ice Cream Day!

Just for you, Jenny.


  1. Thank you! *silly grin laced with gooey raisin rum ice cream*

    Yes...the pic is "cutesy" but it sure made me smile - somehow it just works! (but just this once, now, you hear me...don't want anyone thinking you've gone soft)

    I've been following you for some time now and I'm really getting into the groove - even remembering the "who's who" (which was no easy feat) but I do have a question...are you enjoying your new job as Sgt? Sounds like you do - but there seems to be some extra baggage too!

    I'm glad your day was one for the "win" column. Jenny

    1. Jenny- Always willing to lend a hand. (grin)

      I'll tell you. I'm enjoying some aspects of my new position but not all of them. One of the things I really miss about being a COI was I could call another officer a stupid snaphead for doing something dumb and get away with it. Now I have to be more "politically correct" and I don't care for that at all. "What?? I have to protect people's feelings? Oh, snap no!"

  2. Geez, your idea of a good day would have me crying in a corner! I did like the hamster, though. Of course, I'm a sucker for rodents!

    1. Lolamouse- It was actually, a pretty good day for working in a prison. None of us got hurt and we all got to go home at the end of the day.

      And I will give you that hamster for free as long as you promise not to post it on your blog.