Saturday, July 2, 2011

There Was No Wicked Witch...

But there was a FlyinMonkey. The same one who writes "They Won't Get Us". If you haven't been there to read his stories, please do. You won't regret it. Even though I was the bubble officer I had a good time with him and the WoodMan and Sgt Duck.

I'd been wanting to talk to FlyinMonkey all day anyway, after he wrote such an cool story about me being a veteran newscaster right before the zombie plague hit. That was so awesome. And I think I'm the only character besides the Monkey himself who has managed to stay alive for three consecutive stories.

And now every time I go out for a smoke I have this vision of me flicking my cigarette butt into the open mouth of a dead zombie as I walk away..... And it gives me the giggles.

I don't much care for being a bubble officer, as you can probably tell. Pretty much all you do is open doors for inmates. At least in a regular housing unit. And, if you haven't already figured it out, I'm not really all that "service oriented" when it comes to inmates. Personally, I would be more than happy if they were locked down 24 hours a day.

And I cussed alot. I said more than "snap" a few times. I don't get alot of practice running a bubble anymore, especially in such a busy place like a general population house. Except for count time and after 9:45 pm, the movement is pretty much constant.... in and out.

At one point, before I managed to get up to speed, there were several of them all yelling from different wings to get their doors open all at the same time. I got a bit frustrated and hit the intercom button in all four wings and said "Keep your fracking panties on! I'll get there!" There was a moment of silence then some anonymous fool in one of the wings said "Watch your mouth."

Oooo... snap.

I back away from the control panel and just stopped. Turned and got a drink of water. Cracked my neck a few times and took a few deep breaths. Sgt Duck was looking at me like he was going to give me a break and I just held up a hand and said "I got this."

Then I went back to the panel and started opening doors again at about half the speed I was doing before, just taking my time. I'm afraid it took a little longer than usual to get them all back in their cells but nobody had anything smart to say after that. It was an acceptable mutual cease fire. I kept my remarks to myself and so did they. We got along much better after that.

In between times we got to talk zombie stories and ideas for other tales that FlyinMonkey wants to write. He's got such an awesome imagination. Everybody is bugging him to get a part in one of his stories. Me, I'm happy with my fifteen minutes of fame.

They didn't get me!!! Yeah!

Supposedly I am working tomorrow on my day off. I'm getting close to the top of the mandatory overtime list and I would much rather work a day off than a double. Those doubles just kill me. I talked to Lt Strong yesterday and he said "Yeah, we can use you! Come in and work!" Hopefully he can justify it. I don't want him to get in trouble. But I don't want to work a double, either.

So I might have something to write about on a Saturday for a change. I guess we'll see.

Saturday will be Visitation Of The Virgin Mary Day. Oh Joy. I've been looking forward to that all year. It's also International Cherry Pit Spitting Day, I Forgot Day and International Day of Cooperatives. Whatever the heck that means. Think I'll just go spit some cherry pits and call it good. Unless I forget, anyway.


  1. I'm working OT on my day off as well. Its a 6 hour shift and the money will come in handy for camping this month.

  2. That must have been the Flying Monkey that dropped in on me the other day. I thought the name sounded familiar.

    And inmates telling you to watch your mouth...that's just a bad move.

  3. Here you are hoping to work a day off and I'm complaining about having to work an hour on mine...


    Well now I feel selfish...

  4. Will have to keep 'ol Rev around for a while, your keeping my ratings up haha. Heard of a new book that came out called " The Murder Room" a true story about modern day Sherlock Holmes's who used to be CIA and other things that get together on their own time to solve cold case murders. Sounds like real life League of Extraordinary Gentleman types haha

  5. I was going to leave a comment, but I forgot what it was.

  6. Joe- I would much rather work a day off than end up spending 16 hours at the prison. That really sucks. The extra dough won't hurt, either.

    Bryan- He didn't even really know what a blog was awhile ago and now he's hooked. Ka-ching!

    And you'll note that whatever fool mouthed off did it while I wasn't looking. They are awful brave when you don't know who they are.

    Chanel- Completely different scenario here. Your music store isn't open 24/7/365. And I would much work my own shift an extra day then work midnight shift on top of evenings and get home at around eight in the morning. Frack that.

    Too bad I couldn't come to work in my jammies like you did, though.

    FlyinMonkey- You can keep me around as long as you like, man. I kinda like staying alive. And you owe me, anyway after I saved your life, remember? (grin)

    I looked up that book. It's about the Vidoq society. They are pretty cool. I'll add that one to my wish list!

    Lolamouse- At least you picked the right day to do that. (grin)