Monday, July 25, 2011

A Day At The Skunk Works

Here I was thinking I wasn't going to have much to write about. I was an extra on B-yard. One of three extras, to be exact. There were five of us out there today. Incredible.

I kept waiting for something to happen or somebody to realize that we had so many extra people. Usually when someone sees we have extras, several people suddenly get "sick" and have to go home. Then I'd get pulled somewhere else. But it never happened.

Went down to the chow hall after the yards closed and grabbed a popsicle out of the freezer and immediately dripped some of it down the front of my shirt. Nice. Went into the bathroom to wash it off the best I could.

Then I stepped outside to watch the laundry workers on their way to chow. I got about three steps away from the door and a bird crapped on my shoulder.

I thought "So, this is the way it's gonna be, huh?"

Went back into the bathroom to wash the bird crap off of my shirt.

At least it didn't clash with the popsicle stain.

I really thought about taking advantage and going home myself. I imagined that it could only get worse from there.

But it didn't.

We got all the way through open yard with nothing happening. Closed them down and sent the little dogies back to their pens for the night and settled in to eat some dinner.

Not long after I sat down to eat I heard this "Yee-Haw!" off in the distance. Like Slim Pickens riding the A-bomb in "Dr Strangelove". I step around the shack and see that ridiculous m....... My immediate supervisor, Sgt Uncle T, chasing a medium sized white skunk across the yard with the golf cart. And he's herding it right towards the shack!

Me, Nook (up from 30 yard for a visit), Red, Meanie and Sausage all take off in different directions as this poor skunk is running for it's life right towards us. Me, I closed myself in the shack. Everyone else ran off.

The poor skunk, not the most agile thing in the world, managed to jink to the side and run off across the baseball diamond. Sgt Uncle T, also not the most agile thing in the world, barely missed taking out the foul pole and a bit of the diamond fence with the cart and chases the poor thing back around for another trip around the shack.

Finally, the poor critter managed to elude him and go through an opening in the fence and took off across the yard, heading for 6 house. It was running just as fast as it could go. When I saw it last, it was through the fence behind 6 house and still going strong as it ran off into the night.

It's probably still running.

At least I didn't get any of that on my shirt!

Tuesday I will be in the Hive (joy...) and it will be All Or Nothing Day. That just doesn't sound good. It will also be One Voice Day. There are several different meaning for this one. Take your pick!


  1. I've had several confrontations with skunks, and none of them ever offered to run from me; they'd turn that hind end toward me and stomp their back feet threatening to spray, and I herded my own self away from them. Had one that came into the barn and drank milk with the cats. Walked right past me while I was hunkered down milking the cow. You can believe I froze in place until she was past.

  2. Never had a direct confrontation with a skunk, although a stray dog decided to hang out with me at the bus stop, and he reeked of it! I'm an animal lover, so I took him home, fed him, gave him water, and loved him until someone came to get him. Then I showered for HOURS! I have had birds crap on MY HEAD twice!!! Thanks for your kind words about my poetry, BTW. I can usually write cute/funny ones pretty easily. The serious ones are harder for me, though.

  3. Hey, they come down with that same "sickness" at my work. We might have to get the CDC on that one. Clearly it's spread across the country.

    I'm surprised your sergeant didn't get sprayed himself. He must have maintained a certain safe distance, or maybe the skunks don't spray until you have the cornered...or you know, like when you run them over with a Buick.

  4. Donna- You would think people would be smart enough to leave the dang skunks alone. I called him ten kinds of a fool when he got done.

    Lolamouse- You are too kind-hearted. I'd give a skunky stray food and water if he was hungry, but I would stay at arm length. That stuff is hard to get off! And that wasn't the first time one of those little swine pooped on me.

    I love your poetry. I was the neighborhood poet once. Lost it all one day when I snapped after trying to find a word to rhyme with "orange".

    Bryan- It's a horrible disease. And very virulent, obviously.

    I think the skunk was too scared and running too hard to spray. They like to have their tails up out of the way so it doesn't get on them and he was flat out running for his life. It was funny, sort of. That poor skunk!

  5. Okay, I'm not hip to all the lingo in this post, no sense in pretending I'm with it or anything, but I can say my sense of humour got a good workout regardless.

    I cracked up with the bird crap and popsicle stain not clashing! Rich!

    All in all, sounds like you had a day that was worth rolling out of bed for!

    Cheers, Jenny