Saturday, July 23, 2011

No Thinking Zone

I guess I could have just posted "It's too hot to think" as has been suggested.

I could use that as a handy excuse why my posts have been so lame the past few days.

And it's true. It's just too dang hot to think.

Apparently it has been affecting everybody. Especially today. Things were so screwed up today it was like everyone's brains had melted smooth out of their heads, leaving nothing but a trail of gently steaming gelatinous goo everywhere they go.

Okay, I feel disgusted just writing that. Bleah! What a picture.

When I left last night I had the mail run then B-yard. When I came in today I had the mail run then A-yard. before I even left for the mail run I was back on B-yard again. Okey dokey.

I don't mind doing the mail run. My day starts out early. Instead of tramping all over the camp and getting to my post by 3:15 at the latest, I sit outside the admin building until no sooner than 3:30, which is when the mail is ready for delivery. Load it all in a little cart and drive around the camp sitting on my butt delivering it. I don't even have to get up. They all come out and get the mail bags when I call.

Heck, I can even stop and chat for a minute now and then and nobody minds.

Get done and head back out to put the cart away then mosey on out to the yard..... Get there about the time it closes.... And mosey on down to the chow hall. No big hurry. I even had time to go in and eat a popsickle out of the freezer at B-dining before count.

Then Sgt Uncle T comes over and says "Someone screwed up. You have to go relieve in the visiting room until 6:30. Then come out to the yard."

Snap. That was one of the last places I had never worked. I'd been in visit lots of times, but never when the visitors were there. I hadn't a clue what to do. Luckily Turbo was there. He's an old hand at visiting and knows the ropes.

The main problem was that count had not cleared yet. We had visitors in there waiting for the inmates to show up but since count was messed up they couldn't get there. They were waiting around patiently but when they called and said send them all back for a name and number count, we knew it was going to be a long time before any more inmates showed up.

And since visit closes down at 6:30 they might get 10-15 minutes before they had to leave. Several families left when they heard the news. Turbo was nice and explained as patiently as he could. Many of them understood and went ahead and left without any protest.

Captain Fluffy was up in the Control Center being in the way while they were trying to figure out where count was messed up and he saw the visitors trooping out. So he called back and was insinuating that we were throwing them out.

**sigh** "Find a nit and pick it." That seems to be his motto. never mind that our count was off and an inmate might possibly be missing. Why were those visitors leaving? I'm sure glad Turbo showed up to talk to him. He was making me cranky.

Count finally cleared and we started clearing out the rest of the visitors and inmates that were left. And the inmates whose families had already left showed up and were pissed off. Turbo called the houses and told them they left but apparently the news never got passed along.

Nobody was thinking, apparently.

When we finally got done with that nonsense I made it back out to the yard right before they opened. Late, obviously, because of the long count. Then there was this disorienting and confusing series of calls on the radio.

"The yards are open on the A and B side!"

"No! Only on the B side!"

"A side is ready!"

The yard is open on the A side!"

Nobody had a clue if the yard was open or not. 6 house sent some out and then stopped. 7 and 8 held theirs up and called on the phone to make sure. Then they let them all out.

They managed to get almost two hours of yard, but it was a near thing.

And when the 10:00pm count came around, guess what? It was screwed up again. Apparently in the same place as last time. But they decided to send people other places to count again just to make sure. After some pretty rude radio calls.

Me, I just held my head in my hands and watched the yard and said to heck with it.

By then it was cooler outside, but I was too tired to think anymore.

I am so happy it's Friday. You have no idea.

The lineup for this weekend. Saturday will be National Vanilla Ice Cream Day, as well as Gorgeous Grandma Day and Hot Enough For Ya Day. Sunday will be Amelia Earhart Day, Cousins Day, Mormon Pioneer Day, Cowboy Day, Drive-Thru Day and Tell An Old Joke Day. Monday will be Threading The Needle Day and Merry Go Round Day.

Whew! Enjoy!


  1. The count sounds like it's been screwed up a lot lately...hmmm. Something else we can blame on the heat?

    As for the visiting center, I bet the main rule down there is: don't let the visitors give the inmates cakes with files sticking out of them.

  2. Your count reminds me of when we had to do head counts of our emotionally disturbed kids when we took them on fieldtrips. The count was never right. Sometimes it was us; sometimes a kid had wandered off and we had to track him down! Fun times...

  3. Bryan- I'm sure the heat has something to do with it. Everybody is hot and distracted.

    And no, no cakes with files. They are not allowed metal things in the visiting room at all.

    Lolamouse- It's probably the same experience here. The inmates are such children at times...

  4. Counting must be more complicated than I thought, because it seems to be a frequent problem. And I can't see how any inmate has the right to be angry that his family left before the visit. He'd be able to see them all the time if he hadn't broken the law.

    The nerve...