Thursday, July 7, 2011

An "Open" MRI

I have never before in my life had an MRI before and I believe the next time I will just say "No thanks!" If they can't figure it out with x-rays them I'm probably going to die.

First off, I'm just a teensy bit claustrophobic. I wouldn't have made it in one of those tunnel things. But even if this thing was open on the sides having that huge steel plate an inch from the end of my nose was enough to give me the heebie jeebies.

They could have at least put a "Where's Waldo" poster or something interesting to look at on the bottom of that thing.

The guy was nice. He tried to make me as comfortable as possible, giving me supports for my feet and my other arm and all. He even turned on a classic rock station for me to listen to. It's too bad playing air guitar is frowned upon while getting an MRI. I'll bet that would have looked awesome.

But even as nice as he was, I still had to lay there for almost a solid hour, completely still. My body complained. I had muscle spasms and itches would pop up where I couldn't scratch them. Those were maddening. And I got this weird little muscle spasm in my chin in the middle of the thing that felt like a spider was crawling on my face. That was almost the end of it for me.

For a while I lay there while this thing went "wop wop wop wop" and "dit dit dit dit". I tried to pretend I was in a big video game and I was zapping enemy space ships. But that only held my interest for a little while. What was mostly on my mind was that my arm and legs were stiffening up and that it was going to be pretty dang painful when it was over.

At one point during the procedure I felt like I needed to fart. I almost went ahead and did it, as I was the only one in the room. But then I thought "Oh snap! If I fart in this little enclosed space it will choke me to death!" so I held on to it.

And being a guy and since most guys think farts are hilarious the more I thought about it the more I had to fight myself from breaking out in a case of the giggles. I had to fight to control my breathing and force myself to think of something else or I would have been history. I know how I get. Once I start laughing like that I'm done for 15 or 20 minutes or so. I'd lay there and just go "Hum.... hum.... hum...." and put my mind on something else for awhile. But every time my insides would make a noise I was there again, going "Hum... hum... hum...." trying not to bust out laughing.

It was a tough battle, but I made it. I almost feel like I deserve a medal for that fight.

And I was right on the money about how it felt when I was done. The first chance I got to stand up I couldn't bend my arm again. Finally I grabbed it with my other wrist and something in the area of my elbow went "Snap!" And not like an exclamation, the way I use snap. Like something had to break loose in order for me to bend my arm again. That kind of snap.

Oh yeah, that hurt.

And my knee, which had been feeling better, had stiffened back up and ached all day long, even wrapped up in an ace bandage. I limped around the yard all evening.

We had a pretty good night, even though Captain Fluffy was on one of his rampages about pat searches again. he sat on the cart and watched us pat search at mainline and then rode around on the cart during open yard and watches us pat search some more.

Luckily some storms rolled in with lightning and he closed the yards early so we got a break. And the Meanie took my turn on the Del Norte walk, which was very nice. We got to spend alot of time sitting around the shack and watching the storms roll by.

Tomorrow I'm back in the Hive 2-10 in BG's old spot again. It won't be as hard as the first time was, I'm sure. But if those little knuckleheads down there are playing their stupid little games again like they were earlier in the week somebody is going to get their feelings hurt. And maybe some other bits of them too. I already had enough of that snit to last me for awhile.

Friday will be Video Games Day. Ack! I hope it aint like the boring one I played this morning. It will also be Collector Car Appreciation Day.

I think I'll just appreciate that I have a car at all, even if it's not a collectable.


  1. I'll admit that the closed MRI spooked the hell out of me. I had it done on my head and I didn't quite fit in the tube. Never again.
    The open MRI I had done was not as bad. Still bothered me a bit and I had about all I could take when it was done. Rev, I feel your pain.

  2. I've only had MRI's done on my knees a few times, but it really is hard to lie still that long.

  3. "Like something had to break loose in order for me to bend my arm again. That kind of snap."

    Ugghhh...that hurt just reading that.

  4. Weird that you hate enclosed spaces, yet moonlight as a guard for one...or corrections officer...or stool pigeon hunter. What is the term used today anyway? Back to my point, you should have a constant ick feeling during work hours.

  5. I think I would have lost it completely! I start going crazy in airplanes after several hours because they are too enclosed for me. An MRI would about do me in! You deserve a medal.

  6. I wonder if the movie COMA came to mind? I guess not.

  7. MRIs are interesting to me...but I hate not being able to move.

    Why did you have to have an MRI?

  8. Joe- I couldn't have done the tube thing. I would have freaked out completely.

    Donna- I don't think I could go through that again without drugs beforehand.

    Bryan- Sorry. It really felt like something broke. It was scary for a moment.

    Scott- I hate going into the cells too. But the door is always open when I go in there and I leave as soon as I get done.

    Lolamouse- I'm not too good in airplanes, either. Or small elevators or subways, for that matter.

    Chanel- I have had tendonitis for over a year and am now trying to get it fixed if at all possible. I want to find out why it's not healing up.

  9. Boris- I don't know why your comment didn't show up, but yeah, now that you mention it....

  10. Just as I thought, you filtered me out. Like you were in a COMA.

  11. Boris- I swear I'm not filtering you. Maybe you need to get a real computer instead of that dinky phone.

  12. Lets try this "COMA"

  13. Boris- Blogger was filtering you itself. I had to go find you and mark you "NOT SPAM".