Friday, May 20, 2011

Who Left That Fan There?

Just about every day I go to work I ask the first person I see "Anything exciting going on?" Ninety nine times out of a hundred they will reply "Nah. Aint nothing happening." That's always good to hear.

Today I came in and asked Sgt Shoulders and he said "Well, I heard something about a use of force earlier but there's nothing really happening."

Okay. Sounded like a little excitement, but nothing major. Cool.

I go through central and I see one of the day shift yard dogs sitting in the office in his t-shirt. That's never a good sign.

I said "Blood or pepper spray or both?"

He said "Blood. he said he wasn't going to work and he sure wasn't going to the Hive." He smiled up at me and added "I showed him he sure was going to the Hive! And he went!"

So on my way down to six house I keep hearing all of this radio traffic back and forth. Go there and come here and call me. And come get me and go get him, etc. Most of it seemed to happening at 7 house, right next door. But none of it from my destination. I was pleased.

Then I hear a call from 9 house that they found a razor blade and they needed to come do a couple of escorts over that. And I hear that they found a "white powdery substance" in some guys hat sewed into the seam of it and were sending it up for testing.

I start thinking "Maybe I should have called out and stayed home today."

I stepped out in front of the house to help watch the yard because all of the yard dogs were off doing escorts and searching when this awful noise starts up from inside 6 house.

Oh snap! It's the freaking fire alarm!

Rush inside the house and start shooing all of the inmates outside. Have to evacuate the house and look for evidence of a fire at the same time.

Just as we were calling the Code 70 (fire) at 6 house, I heard somebody call something at 7 house but I couldn't hear it because of the fire alarm.

And as we got the house cleared and were looking for smoke, I heard "10-6 the 10-49, housing unit 7." Which means "We got the fight under control and don't need any more help, thank you."

Oh freaking snap. A fight. Nobody hurt, staff-wise. No use of force on that one. Thank goodness.

It turned out that the fire alarm was just a smoke detector that went bad and was sending a fire signal to the control panel. Unfortunately, the detectors are all the way up on the ceiling... what, twenty feet up? More? Maybe as much as thirty feet. They have to get a genie lift in to change it out and somebody pissed off the maintenance guy and he hung up the phone and went home.

Managed to get the audio alarm silenced but the blinking lights in the wings will probably be on until Monday when the guy has a chance to cool off and come back to work. Lovely.

So all in all, I think they locked up 14 offenders today. One of the 2-10 guys in the Hive said they got seven of them after he got there.

I am so glad I wasn't down there today. I'm sure it was a goat rope.

Surprisingly, the rest of our evening went fairly smooth. I think they locked up two out of 10 house for something, but that was it. I never had to run anywhere and I was glad.

It's been a long freaking week.

So tomorrow will be Armed forces Day, National Memo Day and National Waitresses/Waiters Day, as well as the freaking apocalypse or the rapture or whatever they call it. It's also National Endangered Species Day, O. Henry Pun Day and Sister Maria Hummel Day.

If you must know, she was a nun that created the artwork which inspired what became known as Hummel figurines. Her artwork pissed off Adolph Hitler, which is good enough in my book.

Sunday will be Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day, Lag B'Omer (It's a Jewish holiday celebrating the end of some plague somewhere around the year 135 CE) and National Maritime Day.

Monday will be Penny Day, Declaration of the Bab Day (A central figure in the Bahai religion from the 1800's), National Taffy day and World Turtle Day.

As you can guess, it's been a day. Off to bed, all of you!


  1. Good luck for Buying a Musical Instrument Day. No music store in it's right mind is open on Sunday.

    So there were a few fights, something about force, a fire that wasn't a fire, an angry employee, and some blood in there, too.

    Sounds like it was a helluva day and you earned a candy bar.

  2. World Turtle Day!!! WOOT!!! I'll have to tell Rachel.

  3. Chanel- You think they'd plan these things better, wouldn't you?

    By the way, a "use of force" is when one of us actually has to put our hands on one of them or use pepper spray to get them to comply.

    I could have used a candy bar somewhere in the middle of all of that nonsense.

    Lolamouse- Definitely a day for celebration.