Sunday, May 22, 2011

Left Behind?

I waited around last night wondering in the back of my mind if there was the slightest chance that lunatic in California might be right.

Not like I was all that concerned. I knew I wasn't going anywhere. Not unless all of those perceptions about heaven were drastically wrong.

Then again, maybe the rapture did come and the only ones worthy were two people from locations so remote that nobody will ever notice them missing. And afterwards Gawd looked down and said "My planned tribulations are nothing compared to what's going on down there right now. Meh. Forget it."

I can see that happening. He would have to have not only a sense of humor but a supreme sense of irony as well.

When I went to bed last night after checking the news to make sure I hadn't missed anything, I took half a Tylenol PM along with my sleepy meds. Even half a tablet reacts with my meds and I slept until almost 9 am. I'm still a bit drowsy even now. Think I'll just skip those from now on.

The house was quiet when I awoke, which was weird and a tad bit spooky. But when my ears cleared out all of the sleep noise I could hear my wife playing music on her iPod down in the living room. The song was "Nobody Left To Run With Anymore" by the Allman Brothers, which was funny and ironic. It made me smile.

A quick check of the blogs and I was sure that all of my friends were still here as well. Unless, of course, they have wi-fi in heaven. Or wherever they ended up. Either way as long as we still have internet access, right?

After counting some numbers in my head and looking at the cover of a high school algebra book, I predict the end of that fool Camping and his undeserved riches by the end of the week. He should be charged with creating a public nuisance, inciting to riot, accessory to attempted murder and sedition. He's obviously a dangerous lunatic and should be, at minimum, tossed into a mental institution for the rest of his life.

But then, I have issues. Obviously.

There was a quote on somebody's blog this week: "If you talk to Gawd, you are considered religious. If Gawd talks to you, you are considered psychotic."

Or something like that. All I have to add to that is....



  1. Glad to know you're wife and you are still hanging around. It would be a much sadder place without two more Bones enthusiasts. Plus where would I read the latest Prison Scoop?

  2. I agree. Lock that fool up! As a matter of fact, I'd prefer an angry lynch mob to show up at his house.

  3. We do have wi-fi in Heaven. I'm logged on with my iHarp. Man, the clouds are fluffy and they all taste like marshmallow cream. Unless you want them to taste like mayonnaise. Then they taste like mayonnaise. Isn't that cool?

    Well, I gotta go. Jesus is putting together another poker game. I'm not sure I trust him. 5 aces??? Whatever. If he keeps pulling that loaves and fishes stuff, I'll never catch a hand.

  4. I was kinda disappointed. I was hoping just us cool kids would be left behind and all of those blow hard religious wackadoos would be gone. Oh well. Maybe next Rapture...

  5. Chanel- I knew we wouldn't be going anywhere. ((snort)) What? And miss the upcoming new season of True Blood? Are you mad?

    Asha- Ooooo.... I love the lynch mob idea... I wonder if we can rent one.

    Bryan- I knew all that intellect had to be divinely inspired! And yes, he cheats. But he can't bluff worth a snit.

    Lolamouse- There's apparently another one scheduled in October. Let's keep our fingers crossed!