Friday, May 27, 2011


Most of the people that I know that work here at the prison came here form other jobs. There are a good number of them who had retired from their other jobs and came to work for the state. Mostly due to the fact that if you retire before you are 65 you are just screwed.

Unless you were the CEO of some huge corporation or a senator or something.

There are alot of retired military folk working here that just couldn't make it on retirement benefits. That's just a blasted shame. You would think if you had the stuff to serve your country for twenty years, at least a quarter of your natural life, that your government would be able to take care of you for the rest of it.

I'm not talking smack about my country or my government. I'm just saying that it's not right.


Some of the folk here are in their first jobs, which is a little scary. Just the thought of them getting their first exposure to the workforce in a prison. What next? leave the prison and go be a dentist? "Open your mouth, boy! Do it NOW!!!"

Or go be a greeter at WalMart and pat search all of the shoppers as they come and go to make sure they aren't carrying any contraband. I'll bet that would cut down on the shoplifting!

Me, I think I would be a good bill collector. None of those namby-pamby letters in the mail or dunning phone calls. I would come to their door and say "Give me the money now. If you do not give me the money now, I will spray you, slam you to the concrete and put you in a cell with a 300 pound man with nineteen different personalities. And twelve of those don't like deadbeats. Six of the others don't like anybody. The last one is a Ritz cracker."

I'll bet I would be successful.

But some of these people..... I don't know. There are some of them that I don't think could find another job anywhere. And we only put up with them because they have been here forever, like Kermit. They have been here for so long they are more institutionalized than the inmates and it would be cruel to them and the rest of the world to try and make them go out and find another job.

Where else can you be rude and illiterate and socially dysfunctional and still get paid for it?

Besides talk radio, anyway. And reality teevee shows. I don't know.

And I'm starting to get that way myself now after all these years. I really suspect that I would find it hard trying to fit in out in the square world after all this time. I imagine most places look down on you slamming and cuffing rude customers. That could be a deal breaker.

I may just have to stick it out here. **sigh**

Let's just go check the calendar, then. If we must. Friday will be the Body Painting Arts Festival. Where??? OMG! I want to go to that! It will also be Cellophane Tape Day, Player Piano Day and Wig Out Day. Cool, man..... just cool.


  1. Hell, you can be all those things and more at the Mercury. We said that employees like that were collecting "Mercury welfare" and when they retired (with a Teamster pension) that they were on "Teamster welfare" Most of them have retired, but when I first came here, whew!

  2. I wish I had a second personality that was a ritz cracker. That must be a fascinating conversation...

  3. I agree. And what's scary is people see them in uniform and associate me with them! Hahaha

  4. Joe- Save me a spot. I may need a backup profession!

    Chanel- It was mostly cheesy, though he did get a little salty there with me at the end..

    FlyinMonkey- Folks on the outside do tend to view us with no small bit of alarm, huh? It's fun.