Monday, June 28, 2010


"Be prepared". They taught me that in Boy Scouts.

It's about all I remember from that time. Other than all of that "trustworthy loyal helpful friendly courteous kind cheerful thrifty brave clean and reverent" stuff. I blame my Dad for sticking that one in my head.

And I always try to be prepared.

I'm not always successful, but I do try. Usually I end up being prepared for the worst and get myself all psyched up for nothing.

Like today for example.

We have this wobblehead up in C-wing who came down a few weeks ago for pc. Apparently he was scared of someone down in the wobblehead house. Either that or he owed somebody a bunch of money and didn't want to pay.

Last week he decided he was being wronged by us somehow and decided to go on hunger strike. I guess he thought he could force us to do something or another by starving himself.

Personally, I could give a bent rat if he eats or not. If he misses enough meals they will stick a tube down his throat and feed him that way. As long as I don't have to do it myself, it's all good.

This afternoon everybody in C-wing started shouting that the dude was having a seizure. How they knew he was having one is a mystery. I guess he's one of those medical anomalies that can still talk while having a seizure.

Those are amazing. I'm stunned every time I see it happen.

I was out on the rec yard when they called the code 16 for "apparent seizures". His cell window was right above where I was sitting and it sounded like they were having some trouble. I heard voices raised, but Sgt Banty and Lt Waggy were up there so I didn't figure they needed me. But I waited for the radio call, just in case.

It seems this idiot is diabetic and the hunger strike isn't doing him any good at all. And since he was being such a knucklehead when they were trying to help him, the Lt and Captain Spit decided that when he returned from medical he would be put on suicide watch.

It was justifiable. Everything he was doing came under the heading of "deliberate self harm".

Except he was going up to medical on day shift and coming back down on ours.

Nice. They do that to us now and then. The evil swine.

And since Sgt Miz P's spot is still vacant and the new relief Sgt doesn't start until next week, they sent us Sgt Kenny.

He's a nice enough guy. As long as you don't really expect anything from him. He tries, but he has no real idea what we are doing and is content with that. He just wants to do his eight hours and go home with no problems.

And when he's in our house on the infrequent occasion, he looks to the senior officers to make the decisions.

I knew this knucklehead wasn't going to be happy about being put on suicide watch. I figured there was going to be a fight. So I called Capt Walrus and gave him the low down. Then I made sure my crew knew what was up. The Cap said he'd talk to Lt Maybelline and let her know.

So the whole evening we are waiting for this dude to come back down and give us a tussle. I asked to be warned when he was coming so we could make sure all hands were available. Just to be on the safe side.

They didn't warn us.

About 8:15 here comes Lt Maybelline with two yard dogs walking this knucklehead back down to the house. So we all scramble to get ready.

They must have given him a sedative or something up there. He was a little wobbly and gave them no trouble at all when they stripped him out and left him on the cell with nothing but a smock.

And back out on the rec yard all of that pent up energy went leaking slowly out of my ears.

I'm glad nothing happened. But still......

1 comment:

  1. Why does all the fun stuff happen on my Saturday? I'm glad it actually didn't happen though.