Sunday, May 23, 2010

Pain Is Not Recreational

As I have done absolutely nothing this entire day but sit at the computer and play with the dogs, I was really wracking my brain for something to post about today.

And then it struck me.

Or rather, I struck it.

I moved awkwardly and banged my toe on the side of the desk. The same toe that I had done home surgery on last night for an ingrown toenail. And the pain returned ooohh.. all of a sudden like. All of my hair stood up on end (well, both of them, anyway) and I almost squeaked. And I got drops of blood on the carpet.

It was bad enough when I had to do it the first time. Why in the world was I not more careful?

Because I am a clummox, for starters. But not a masochist, thank gawds.

Which brings me to the reminiscence the pain brought me to. A self-sacrificial satori of pain, as it were.

Warning: If you have a weak stomach, don't read any further!

Many years ago when I had first arrived at the Hive, we had an inmate I called Horseman. He was an extremely strange young man. Mentally and emotionally unbalanced like a bicycle with triangular wheels. One minute we would be having a discussion about christianity (in which he fervently believed) and the next he would be screaming that I was the antichrist and calling upon all the angels by name (and there were quite a few of them he apparently knew personally) to strike me down where I stood.

But aside from those little outbursts, I never really had much trouble out of him. I just made sure he was kept well away from any sacrificial daggers that might be lying about for my own safety.

One afternoon the nurse and I were distributing medications. We got to Horsemans cell, I cuffed him up and opened the door. When the door came fully open the nurse gave a gasp and stepped back. Not knowing exactly what happened, I swung an arm across to protect her and stepped into the doorway of the cell. She grabbed my sleeve and pulled me back before I stepped into the pool of blood there in his doorway.

The nurse said "What did you do?" Horseman looked down at his feet and said nonchalantly "Oh, I pulled my toenails off." And he sure enough had. When she asked him why he replied "I did one just to see what it was like. Once I did that one I figured I might as well do the rest of them."

He was like that. To this day I cannot fathom why someone would do such a painful thing. Once, let alone ten times. Sometimes I am happy in my ignorance.

About a year or so after that incident the same young man got hold of one of those glue mouse traps (the super-sticky kind) and for some ungawdly reason stuck it firmly to his crotch. I suspect, like his toenails, just to see what it was like.

When they got him up to medical the nurse up there took one look at what he had done and said "I can pull it off fast or slow. Which do you want?" While he was still saying "Well......" she grabbed it and went "Rip!" and snatched the thing off in one quick jerk.

I heard rumor that they heard him scream all the way down in the Hive.

Bet he doesn't ever do that again.

Just on a hunch, I nipped over to the states website and looked that young man up. It seems he is no longer in the system. Which means he is probably back on the streets.

Now doesn't that give you a warm and fuzzy feeling?

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