Sunday, October 18, 2009

This Isn't "Wild Kingdom"

This afternoon when BG and I came in we managed to get out a round of rec. The bottom walk of A-wing. The biggest and the loudest "killas" and "I'm a C-5 you better check my file" types in the house. I just knew I was going to have a headache before we got these knuckleheads back inside.

Right before we went out a squirrel managed to get inside and was running around C-wing. BA was there with a broom trying to shoo it out when we came through. I saw it climbing on the restraint bench by the door and just breezed on through. The offenders didn't see it until they were all the way in the wing. I'm all the way down by the rec door when I hear all these cries of "What the hell is that?" and I look and all the inmates are way over on the other side of the wing trying to get as far away from the squirrel as they could.

Yeah, some real bad a** mother truckers there. Almost wet their pants over a squirrel.

And I noticed when they came back through C-wing they were all looking around first making sure the coast was clear.

I wonder.

I know someone back in Oregon that has a mountain lion for a pet. I wonder if they would let me borrow her for a couple of days, just to roam the wings?

I'll bet they would never want those doors opened ever again.

I may have to make a few calls.

If nothing else I'll get some of those dope fiend squirrels from down by the wobblehead house and let them loose in there. All hyped up on thorazine and lithium and foaming at the mouth looking for more.

I'll bet you could hear the screams for miles.


  1. Ummmm, yea right, I was trying to shoo him "out".

  2. What a bunch of punks! I used to have a squirrel that would come knock on my window til I went out and fed him!

  3. My friend has been trapping and killing the nutria on her place. She's gotten a couple tipping 20+ lbs. You want I should ship one to ya?

    Your sis

  4. BA- Here I was, trying to give you some props and make you look all professional and stuff..... jeez!

    Amy- Most of these are inner city kids that are afraid of ants.

    Critter- Is she eating them? And no thank you, I don't want any.