Monday, October 12, 2009

Discordant Notes

No, this isn't one of them, but it's eerily similar. This inmate up in C-wing has been passing these notes out under his cell door for the past couple of days. Each one is stranger than the next. His notes are like reading the labels on Dr. Bronner's soap.

The first note I read was addressed to our governor. Well, sort of. It had the governors name on it but it was addressed to "Our Government". It was begging the governor not to take away his program or mental health. I'm assuming he was referring to the mental health staff and not his actual mental health.

But you never know.

At the top of each note is the word "History" and they are all signed "The Prophet."

Hoo boy.

I shuffled through the notes as quickly as possible to keep from having a severe brain hemorrhage. They were a bit difficult to decipher on some of his points. But one thing he made sure to add in each one was these facts: "I have an IQ of 36 and I'm 44 years old. I'm smart."

Wow. With a fine brain like that I'm surprised he isn't working for us.

He sent out a couple more notes today demanding money for various charitable causes. Millions of dollars for cancer and stem cell research and sick children and the like. I didn't know quite what to make of them. It almost sounded like he was holding himself hostage in there until they cough up the dough.

Like I said, you just never know. He might be.

Right before we left BG went upstairs in C-wing to do something and came down to tell me "He's stuck out a few more notes! Do you want them?" I just shook my head and said "No no! Let someone else pick them up this time...... My brain already hurts."


  1. An IQ of 36? That's gerbil territory.....

  2. gerbil territory for sure. holy smokes man. don't read anymore of those...your head might explode.

    wonder if i leave notes like that outside of my cube if people will bring me chocolate?

    they will probably just leave midol and the random tampon. great. like i have use for either one of those. sigh.

  3. In my company notes like that are generally conglomerated into periodic mass emailings from our Corporate overlords. They seem to think we'll find them somehow uplifting.

  4. BA- He left another note today before he left saying instead of the money he wants a BMW for his wife. That's one crazy gerbil, alright...

    Heather Kathleen- He's gone now so I think I'm safe. If I wrote notes like that they would just leave me where I am.... sigh....

    Anon- Yeah, like those "inspirational" posters. I keep forgetting, am I supposed to be the eagle of the fish?