Friday, December 19, 2008

Poop Boy Strikes Again!!!

The little snit was at it again this morning. Right after the Pshrink came down to see him and he went back into the cell. I looked up at the camera, and there he was painting again. And on my monday, too. The little creep. We called the lieutenant who said "We'll get it cleaned up... eventually." Let him sit in the stink for awhile and then about the time we were going to get him out for a shower and cleaning, he covered the window of his cell door with his smock and blanket. Nobody really wanted to rush in on him, since he was covered in poop, so they did the next best thing: They opened the chuckhole in the door and pulled the smock and blanket out and left him in there wearing nothing but poop.

Plus, he got himself on the meal loaf. I'll bet that was a new experience for him. Don't know if I've mentioned the loaf before. Here's the recipe:
Take EVERYTHING that goes in the meal, ie: entree, salad, soup, starch, dessert and drink.
Put it ALL in a blender set on "puree" and whizzz it into a soupy glop.
Pour the resulting gunk into a loaf pan and bake until golden brown.
Place into the freezer until almost frozen.
Serve cold.

Works every time. It's hideous. Worse than Borscht, which if you don't know is a cold beet soup. Vile stuff. Hardly anybody can eat it and not gag. Maybe russians or hardcore Scots. I imagine anyone who could eat haggis could eat the loaf. But not me. Tried a bite once. Phew! Nassy.

Anyway, as it turns out we had a hard time locating the biohazard worker and it took a couple of hours before we could get him there to clean up the mess. And poor PB was in there with nothing but his birthday suit and chocolate frosting to keep him warm. It was so pitiful it was like watching christmas shows on Lifetime Channel. I nearly had to smile, I felt so bad.

Lunch today would have been his last meal on the loaf, but his little trick this morning earned him another eighteen meals of it! Oh, the humanity! (grin)

And the little snit better behave tomorrow because I'm going to be down there dealing with him myself. Not in the mood for poop, thank you....


  1. Ah...the famous nutri-loaf comes out. Our cook, when we had one before we went to teevee dinners, used to make the nutri-loaf try to taste good, but she said it was quite impossible.......

    (smati)<-- the collective term for the series of "matter" that gets flung at the wall of the padded cell at Rev's place.

  2. Quite impossible, I'm afraid. Prison cuisine at it's best is barely edible. In loaf form it's more suited to building adobe huts or shoring up landfills to stop erosion.

    Smati-- I like that. Gonna write it down and add it to our CO lexicon.

  3. chocolate birthday suit.

    i'm laughin here!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Sorry I missed the latest adventures of Poop Boy (more affectionately known as Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo..) The 18 meals of food loaf might settle him down. Love the blog. It's a good way to see what happened while I was gone!

  5. 18 meals of loaf? Hell, why didn't you think of that before. That will bind the little cretin up for a week and he will WISH he had some poo, any poo, to fling at y'all.

    (jurers)<-- them there guys and gals that sit in that there box and doom poor wee boys to a place where he can be called "woo flung poo". And, eat loaf, thank you.

  6. Oh crap, the boss read this????? Have to keep my politically uncorrect comments to a bare minimum.

  7. Adseglight- I'm sure it will make him unhappy. And when our customers are unhappy, we're doing our job right.

    Auntie- Unfortinately there are protocols we have to follow. It took a few screw ups before we could even put him on the loaf at all. The first time is only three meals. Now it goes to eighteen. He aint gonna be poopin much at all here real soon. Gonna be one sorry critter, i think.

    BA- Don't worry, I won't snitch you out, dude.

  8. PB just aint right.....wouldn't it take guts and gall to continually do that?( among other things)


    (paugh) -that little sound made with pouting lips when you look down at your 18th day of nutri-loaf

  9. Loopy- It usually takes alot of being afraid of being in prison. In some way being in the "hole" as our house is so lovingly called is safer than being out on the "hill" in general population. And acting crazy and playing in your poop... well, you get a reputation as a nutcase and nobody wants to go near you. It works for some, for awhile. Until they go to a level five camp where they don't play. You get stupid there, they get stupid right back.

    Adseglight- I forgot to say "Welcome!" Boss Lady, this is everybody. Everybody, this is the boss. This is what I do here when I'm not doing what I do there.