Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Black Tuesday

'Twas the day before the day before Christmas and all through the house....... everything and everybody was freaking nuts. I have a real love/hate relationship with tuesdays. Tuesday is my friday, and it's the busiest day of my week.

The head pshrink lady came down and saw all the offenders on suicide watch and close obs. She released three of them completely off watch, since their actions were mostly behavioral rather than actual mental issues, and left the one guy with real mental issues on close obs. This included PB, who got all of his clothes and his property back. We thought maybe he had learned his lesson and was going to behave himself and lay down and do his time.

As soon as she was done we started the AdSeg committee. Whew. Twenty four inmates to pull out and interview. Only one of them got stupid and had to be "escorted" back into his cell. I kept waiting to hear a "thump"...... but he went back fairly peacefully despite the fact that his pie hole flapped open the whole way back. Some people never learn not to bite that hand the "literally" feeds them.

I was on the desk, btw. The whole boards and breakdowns and computers and number juggling thing. Snap. I've still got eraser spoogles under my fingernails.

As soon as they are done they bring me the list of those offenders being released from the house. Seventeen of them. Yikes!

Oh, and while all this was going on, the phone kept ringing and they were steadily locking people up. I believe ten lockups while I was there with two more on the way as I was leaving. It was a real juggling act going on out in the sallyport and another involving numbers and files and paperwork in the office. My numbers changed so many times I almost erased through the paper and I have a crick in my neck from writing and holding the phone to my ear at the same time.

And during all of this PB gets the idea first that he's going to be released, since he's no longer on suicide watch. He demands to go to a regular house. When we explain that he's racked up enough violations to be with us until march, he's not real happy. Then he says there are other people in the cell with him (there aren't and he knows it) and he demands to be moved to another cell with a real cellie. This kid has just not figured out that making demands isn't going to work for him. That doesn't work either. So he smears food (just peanut butter this time) on his cell camera. It's my guess he'll be back on suicide watch before I come back on friday.

I could have kissed the third shift guys when they came in. If I didn't think they'd like it and get the wrong idea, I might have. (grin)

Thus ended tuesday/friday. Me, I'm gonna hibernate for the next two days.


  1. What a day! I'm sooooooo glad I'm on vacation for the next 2 weeks. hold down the fort (at least until you get your job bid.)

    Bad Actor: Your secret is safe with me! No need for butt-kissing, bribery, etc...well, not much anyway...

  2. Boss Lady, I don't know how we'll make it without you backing us up. It's gonna be two weeks of bliss for you and two weeks of hell for us. The "lads" do a fair job while you're gone but they don't have anywhere as much spirit (or pull) as you do. Have fun and be safe and come back soon!

  3. Eraser spoogles. That's precious.

    (sonbuna)<-- the Afrikaans term for sunbathing bottomless.

  4. Sorry I missed all the fun Rev....not! There's more where that came from, though.

    Oh goody, the boss is gone for two weeks, just think of the mischief we can get into. Re-arrange her office furniture, maybe put it on the roof or something....

  5. Auntie- I'm still giggling over sobuna! Owie owie! Sobuna! hee hee hee! And then eraser spoogles are a breal bitch to get out from under your nails, trust me.

    BA- You trying to get us all killed?

  6. ah, the holiday season.

    you watch the show "Life"?

    i have come to the conclusion it is my favorite tv show ever.