Monday, June 11, 2012

We Call Those Escape Tools!

There are certain things that offenders are never supposed to have inside any jail or prison anywhere, any time. Simple common sense things that anyone who has ever watched "Hogans Heroes" knows should never be in the hands of anyone inside the fence.

Dangerous or narcotic drugs, of course. Weapons. Cell phones. Two way radios. Wire cutters. Picks and shovels. Cutting torches. Lock picks. Rope. Ladders. Cash money. The secret bug in the coffee pot thing. That sort of stuff.

And freaking maps. Especially maps of the institution. Those are a major no-no.

If we did a search and found an offender in possession of a map of the institution he would get locked up immediately and transferred to another higher-security camp so fast it would make his head swim.

So today I'm walking down the hall in 10 house and I happen to glance over at one of the drawings the counselors had one of the inmates do for a class. And what do I see? A fairly good representation of this whole side of the prison, all done in felt pen on a 2-1/2x3' piece of paper taped to the wall.

It hit me and I thought "Hmm.... that shouldn't be there."

And when I looked inside the room there were close to a dozen more just like it taped up all over that walls.

I said "Are they fracking kidding me?"

Called Lt Wyatt and told him and he almost had kittens. Told me to take them down and confiscate them. And to send a memo to the boss and remind him gently that we aren't supposed to allow that sort of thing.

So off I went, through all three wings. Taking down maps and adding them to my pile.

Twenty one maps. Twenty freaking one of them. Some were kind of crude but some were pretty accurate, showing fences and walkways and such in pretty good detail.

Lt Sienna said "The counselors do that every year. And every year we confiscate them."

Are these people even on the same planet as I am?

Tuesday is going to be Machine Day, Crowded Nest Awareness Day (oh freaking yeah), Loving Day and National Peanut Butter Cookie Day.

Crowded crowded nest.


  1. They just passed a law outlawing "fracking" here in Ohio.

    I'm sure the consellors would feed you some crap about "artistic expression.", even though there's a huge difference between Van Gogh's Starry Night, and an escape plan scribbled on a napkin. Those folks sound pretty clueless.

  2. *you are here

    *escape route here

    good grief....

  3. You would think that the Warden telling them one time to knock that stuff off would be enough.