Saturday, June 9, 2012

Not Even Bribery

At least once a day someone will ask me "So.... How's that Sergeant thing working out?"

Most of the time I'll roll my eyes and shrug and say "I don't think it's killed me yet. But I could be wrong."

"Are you sorry you did it now?"

Yeah. Kind of. I had alot less worries when I wasn't the one in charge. When someone had a question I could always just throw a thumb over my shoulder and say "Ask the Sarge."

Now it's someone else pointing at me and saying "Ask the Sarge."

Half of the time I look around and say "We have a Sergeant?"

Oh yeah. That's me. Snap.

I have seven days left of my probation. I've been told it's a pass/fail thing. Lt Beez said "I have your probation paperwork. I'll get it filled out and turned in the first of the week."

I offered him five bucks to fail me. Heck, I figured since he's an ex-Marine he probably can't count very high and he'd think that's alot of money.

No dice. I changed tactics. Said he if he didn't fail me that he obviously didn't have a hair on his.... head. He still wouldn't go for it.

Not that I really want to fail, you understand. I'm just naturally reticent about being in charge. Kind of neurotic. Like Woody Allen with a badge, if you can imagine that.

I have issues.

Some parts of my life would be easier if I was still just a COI.

But then I wouldn't have all of that fun paperwork to do almost every day. Whatever would I do with my time?

I still have seven days.

Let's see.... Saturday is going to be Donald Duck Day, International Young Eagles Day, The Wicket World of Croquet Day and National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day.

I'll take the strawberries, you can keep the rhubarb.


  1. I threw a thumb over my shoulder once. Luckily it wasn't mine, because a dog got a hold of it and chewed it up pretty bad ;)

    1. Bryan- Funny thing. As soon as I wrote that sentence I thought to myself "Someone is going to have fun with it, I just know it."

      I knew I could count on you. (grin)

  2. What we need in this world are more people like your goodself who specialise in achieving the impossible, particularly on international cockup days.

    1. Vest- cockup.... that's good. (grin)

  3. Clearly Bryan has issues with hitchhikers. Last time I threw a thumb over my shoulder, I was part of a hands on chef class, and I was lucky enough to be picked for dicing the tomatoes. It was just the tip of the thumb though, and it doesn't have much impact on how I use it, since I hardly ever give anyone any accolades these days, no one has even asked me about it.

    1. Scott- Hey, at least it was into the tomatoes, where nobody would notice, right? And maybe they think you are only giving them half a thumbs up!

  4. I had alot less worries when I wasn't the one in charge .... heh.

    Tuf. Worries and paperwork are part of the job. The test is - as you collect "labels" ie 'stripes' and 'tabs' ... can you cope.

    Ok, background - i didn't 'collect tabs' ; but have some concept of how it works. Not, i might add, in your situation.

    Am old enough to have been considered for the Australian Vietnam 'draft' - missed out by one year (too old); but have a friend who tells me what it was like to "shoot the shit" out of another human being. It wasn't his fault, just an extreme situation where it was "kill or be killed". He smelled the blood, and has never forgiven himself.

    darev, even now, believe me or not - have been in a situation recently where two rather younger, taller, and heavier blokes turned up on my doorstep - intoxicated and angry.

    I don't carry weapons - apart from the "law", and the only "arms" that i carry are the ones hanging from my shoulders.

    Yep, had to "face them".

    Situation was, eventually, resolved, without damage..

    1. Davoh- You are right, of course. I need to quit whining. Knew what I was doing when I signed up. Knew what I was doing when I promoted.

      But any soldiers unalienable right is the right to complain. And if I complain too much to the wife, she smacks me so I do it here.

      Need to pull my big girl pants up and soldier on, eh?

    2. Wot? um, am an aussie - nobody hereabouts 'whines' (well, apart from the occasional "Chateu Cardborde"). Vernacular is interesting. We might 'whinge' a bit - but you do it within an entertaining and fascinating choice of language ... heh.

      However, reading between the lines; if i were on yer 'board of selectors' - might be tempted to give yer a 'nudge up the ladder' - but hey, am a worn out old bloke, several thousand miles away on the other side of the planet - what would i know?